If there is one event that will rock my world, it's gotta be my funeral. [LINE] Been spending too much time thinking till I'm numb. I think about something, but am now so sick of putting some actions into it. It's not like I'm getting switched off - more like I just want to get out of thinking and having to do something about it. [LINE] Was chatting online last night and discovered how uncanny some things might be. Oh, there are also lots of brilliant minds out there just waiting to be discovered and explored.
Still, nothing beats having to see the gravity of people and their talents fully employed for the good of themselves and those around them. I suppose I'm just caught in between putting my own to use, and being used.
I should try get more pictures up here. Later. :wink:
"As I laid awake in bed, my mind wondered thereafter about my soberness. I know not why, but my blood boils for attention, and my sanity lusts for an inspiration. What man would deceive himself into believing that life is only about the richness in life and not what lacks? Would he not envy those with less but have found more?"
"... And before the priority, the what comes after soon engulfs me - the need to exist consumes me, like the hurricane that soaks in anything that makes it stronger, lasts longer."
"In that instant, I caught a glimps of a butterfly, fluttering past the shades and hovering over the candlelight - its wings in rainbow stitches, and its feelers a silver white. What astound me were the pollens that fell from its legs and into the loveless flames, superheating them into micro-fireballs that flickered the devilish flame itself, threatening to over-power its might having received its share of plight."
"...Against my will, I followed the butterfly, hoping that the morning rays will wash out the darkness that poliferated my being. It did not, but I followed..."
"Beyond the darkness it flew as I tried to follow, yet, its weightlessness made my being heavy, and my footsteps sluggish. As it disappeared, my desperation to catch up soon fell into disrepair. My heart wrenched like a million birch wrung into a trillion splinters. "
"I crawled, I couldn't walk. I couldn't talk..."
"...Into my own darkness I prayed for light. The candle long burnt to the spoon and the smoke long gone. The stench lingers like a torn in my eyes. My eyes, oh the feeling of deception and fear fought a brave and deadly battle against my sin and my peace."
"A maniac they call me, but the truth shall be revelled in true light, for those blinded will not hear, and those deaf will not see - for I am only sane in my world of insanity."
This was yesterday's post, but unfortunately, tBlog crashed before I could put it in! [line] After weeks of constant procrastination and hesitation, I finally got a 14inch TV for the room again. It was a crazy pricehunt at practically every superstore there are. Then, I just decided to drop by the mall that never sleeps. Saw an Enzer 14inch for like 127 bucks and I went, "I want one of these!" Angel was with me, and she was like "cool!"
I grabbed one of the sales guys and asked for one. He put me on hold, and promptly, and very courteously told me they were out on stocks for this one. Both of us were like darn disappointed, and totally dazed cos the last 2 sets got swiped by the customer just before us.
Then he said, "wait!" disappeared round the corner, and within a minute, came back with one brand new box set! He wrote me a coupon, I paid immediately, and went for it. How cool!
And that's at Mustafa! You get better prices and services here than anywhere else I guess! No sale is too small here. Ever. [line] I got kinda laid off from work today. The studio got busy, and I went out of work. Managed to squeeze in a couple of hours just to finish some mixing before I vacated for another client. For the rest of the time, I idled. Not that I don't like it, but I was really sleepy. Maybe that made me sleepy.
I met up with Angel for dinner also, and shopped at the nearby convenience store. She got this new hair curler thing and I was rolling my eyes half the time. Turns out, she tried and couldn't get her hair curled - at all!
But I ain't complaining! I didn't pay for it! [line] The race is on! I have exactly 2 days to finish 2 album mixes. This is gonna be a crazy week.
2 long months coming to a close. Perhaps I'm just elated to take a really short breather from all that intensive studio work since July. Those long hours have seriously grounded me into zombie pulp without much rest and personal time. But for now, a quiet weekend I can just sleep away.
I'm sure these times will become a yearning once again when they blow over and things calm eventually. [LINE] It's nice, though strange, that we all enjoy being mentioned by somebody else, somewhere. It need not be elaborate, but simply weird when we see our name posted in some topics, blogs, reports, and anything else along those lines. Tribute it may be to the goodness that we have shown - I'm really talking about people talking good about ourselves - but perhaps, it's just nice to be edged in somebody else's head at least for a second.
Stumbled upon one blog lately where the writer profusely brought up names of people around her (I assume). T'was nice to see how she had remembered people in her everyday life, what she has done, and where she has been, seen and heard.
Then I thought about myself.
Angel and I had a small discussion over the changing times and attitudes. I reflected, and promptly concluded - I'm still who I've been since 1995. '95 was another start. Period. So I count from there.
Anycase, she mentioned that I seemed aloof recently with those I used to hang out with. And I conclude: I ain't changed. Time is a factor in any relationship - the lesser you see one another, the less proximity there will be. Then, there's always being taken for granted. When you've done something for someone else long enough, you become indispensible. And I haven't been doing alot of stuff lately, so it seems I've become less caring, concerned, and reachable altogether.
Truth is, I'm still me. I still have as much of my good qualities, and bad, as I have before new things happened.
So here's the tie-in: I ain't forgotten, but neither am I remembered. And this being in no-man's land is sucky. I'd rather be forgotten than to have people going "oh, you! hi!" [LINE] I guess dinner was pretty fabulous tonight, save for the bloated feeling that I have now. My head spins from many days of lack of sleep, and my body is extremely achy and exhausted. If there is one place I want to be, it's definitely by the beach, with a cheap cassette player playing Bleed while I nap. The breeze would have rejuvenated my mind, the sound of sea waves cleansed my soul, and the sun massaged my beaten body. Most importantly, the music to give me the ray of hope I've been needing.
I need a holiday. :!: [LINE] Wow. Just closed my heavy eyes and I could almost feel the breeze.
If you had watched Ayumi's MTV for Hanabi II, that is probably the place I'd stretch for hours. The sky's all grey and the waves' mild. A breeze comes in like a gentle brush over the sand.
I guess that's enough for tonight. If anyone bothers about book marking this blog, I think it's worth it. I like interaction. Leave a message and I'll get right back to you!
I hate to compare, but sometimes, it's just difficult to adjust to changes - especially when the changes aren't really what you aim for.
Perhaps I should have forseen the circumstances that I'd put myself in before jumping onto things the next.
And I hate to comply to norms. It's just so irritating to work outside your own field of vision, no matter how narrow it is. Whichever's the case, what has come to pass, has come.
So the story goes. I'm completely tired out - lack of proper sleep and exercise has pretty much turned me sluggish. I kinda like this word these days - can't remember where I picked it up but just somehow sounds appropriate in everything that I've done lately.
I still adhere to proper meals, but it isn't helping much when what I earn my living through - my ears - aren't able to work as long as the rest of my body can. So now I'm left with a pretty tight choice - carry on and risk the jobs, or take a rest and risk the dateline.
And it isn't very funny, like everyone else probably thinks it is. :wink:
This is interesting cos everyone's kinda like chasing for something yeah~! Anyways, just to update 'YOU', nope, didn't managed to get any ice cream cos I was afraid I might choke on it or cause a quake or something!
With regards to 'YOUR' situation, I'm gonna be a little philo-dreamo - we taste success and failure everyday; excitement, dissapointment; most of all, good and bad of all our decisions. I don't quite think that these are as important as being yourself at the end of the day.
Take a chef for example. He makes his world famous dish, some will like it, others might hate it, but it's his job to just make that dish. For himself, he became a chef, he makes a dish with his heart. Period. This reminds me of a little Blondie cartoon about such a chef. The hubby insists on thanking the chef after a sumptuos meal and the last cartoon shows the Manager in the kitchen doorway, telling the fat, cigar-bitting chef reading the papers to prepare himself cos a customer wants to thank him in person. That, I'd say, is being true to yourself.
I think the important thing is to focus on what we want to do. The needs to do something is afterall a synergy of that want. We all want something, but sometimes, there's only so much distance a car can run without refuelling. So naturally, when we run out of steam, maybe we need to stop and fill up, or maybe, there's something else we haven't done to try get there - ie, fill up the car.
Bottomline is, if it ain't workin', like I said, get goin'. Being stuck in Point B ain't any better than going the whole mile in pain. [LINE] Well, back to real life. Double Yellow Line featured some bands which I had the opportunity to catch 2 of them. Kate of Kale sounds great, and the second band as well - sorry, forgot your name. Too bad I didn't stay for the entire gig. Good show nonetheless!
wow, the new beta posting engine sucks big time. I typed a long post, and *poof*, the whole post zipped.
But being the attention seeker, I'll repost. [LINE] I redid this entire site. Wanted a clean look, but seriously, I ain't tech savvy, so if anyone can tell me how to get rid of those small yellow text and change them out to something more vibrant, how to practically redesign the whole page, what to type to create proper links, please tell me, thanks in advance. Oh, it'll help a great deal if you can gimme some samples to follow.
Been a while since I last posted. Tied up with Home and mom, and just simply not too eager to get to work. It's irking me the way things are going.
Not to mention the fact that the weather's been real fine, and I just ain't got the time to ride, swim, or enjoy the sun.
Anycase, the big gal down under has been pretty much under the weather - I hear'ya gal, if it ain't working, just get goin'.
Somebody screamed at me over the weekend for shouting into the mobile in speaker mode. Gimme a break, I was driving, the engine rumbling, and you couldn't hear me. Plus the fact that you've got a mobile that you don't pick up, so what's the point of holding on to it - just makes good economical sense to thrash it. So don't say I'm digging on you - you were just plain ****** ** <-- I didn't mean it in a bad way. Honest.> Coming back, I've got pictures to upload but ain't got the time, so text is a luxury for now. Till then, everyone keep safe and remember to use protection. :wink:
If there is one event that will rock my world, it's gotta be my funeral.
