I was looking for the correct spelling on a couple of words during my last entry via the net, when I typed in the address bar "dictonary.com" instead. Then it occured to me: you actually need to have spelling basics to use "dictionary.com" at all. How stupid.
There's a burning question swimming in my head for some time now, although I still don't quite understand why I even bother myself with it.
What I used to see were the mutual trusts and faith in people: people being with people, people caring for people. Nature provides, and as much as it gives, people were endearing, not greedy, and very mundane towards full-blown developements.
Since young, I knew about places of worship taking in people, helping and feeding those in need. I've seen it in the movies, and I've seen it when I go to temples. Was at this old church once when I somehow chatted with the caretaker, whom, in all honesty, bluntly told me he used to be a bad person. When he was finally released from jail, he was homeless and had no one to turn to. The church gave him a chance and took him in, paying him a token fee for shelter and manual work.
Even in the newspapers, I've read about halfway houses whom received many ex-drug addicts, gave them jobs and a new shot in society (no puns intended), coupled with counselling and advice.
So it became very strange that, of all things, I found many temples, churches, mosques, and places of worship in general, walled up behind some kind of...wall.
Intentional, that's for sure. But to guard against what? Non-believers? Thieves? or pure inconsiderate brutes who might break a glass or cast a stone against the doors?
I mean, look at it this way. I'm not a strong faithful, but knowing there are others who believed in something else - sensibly - I wouldn't intrude into their spaces for what it is worth. True, there can be accidents, but in the house of gods and deities, who would really dare venture in to cause a deliberate reckus?
For centuries, high walls provided a defence, a shelter, against the elements so that the monuments of religion could stand as long as possible. And without skyscrappers to block and deflect winds, high walls ensured some amounts of safety against the weather, but most of all, against wild animals that roamed in a sparsely lived arena.
But now that we have strong building materials, tall buildings and have caged practically all known species of animals (in general), what do we really need these walls for now? Why? I seriously wonder.
Now that faith stands on a thin fine line of wrong and right, godsend directives and human nature, and most of all, believers and non-believers, what then does religion still stand for?
Fire a missle at my territory, and I pray it won't hit me?
Mental comfort, or pure propaganda of self-interests?
If we actually narrow this down, people do not go far from religion. And they certainly won't go farther with their family, cos it still says so in their names. Until the time of spaceage thinking where people may eventually be conceived artificially, grown like fruits in an orchard, strong cultural bonds would still build a city, or destroy a country. And who would you think of when a missle is fired at your house?
Why walls when we are all defenseless against one another. You kill me today, and you get shot tomorrow. What now? Nuke earth might as well.
Fact is, why walls round a temple when the only intruders might be stray cats that obviously would need the shelter. Why fence a church when it's supposed to welcome, not keep away? Why a lockable gate for a mosque when it should be opened at all times to those who need shelther any other time?
I honestly would advise the homeless to seek shelter at these places of worship during office hours. After which, they better set up their own tents right outside. Oh wait, you'd be fined $2000 for trespassing private property, and if you're homeless and broke and you can't pay, you might want free food, lodging and entertainment in jail. Hold on, your church is actually owned?
Think back now: if you're roaming the streets without a penny, all you've got is freedom in already a dead-locked place. Might as well take up my jail idea if you can't manage to be as rich as Bill or Donald.
Ok, I think you can stop laughing now. Sleep time, night cyberspace.
I thought it was but it kinda turned ugly when I ended up on my set an hour ahead of a new stipulated time. It's like... what's the boss showing up at a company function an hour early?!
Anyways, just before I hit the sack, thought I would share some pictures I took in between my idling today:
The day started with a nice cool drive!
Down the roads towards Seletar Airfields.
The sun came up slowly, and beautifully.
And this picture looks just like the days in Kanchanaburi.
The roofs of the hanger actually glowed.
It's been a fun day, minus the intermitten rains and hot sun. A girl accidentally tripped on the set today though, nothing major just a few scratches. But my heart just went poopy for a minute. Glad she's fine.
Oh, saw this the other day - A barber shop in an electronics store.
I cannot help but indulge in self-pity, watching the development of a commonplace; have you seen the pictures? Have you revisited those good times? Do you feel like shit?
Yeah.
A puny lady tipped an empty vassel on her head to get water from the village well when another joined her. The latter, being the sort-of-lazy ones, asked her friend to help draw water out. As the girl was rather short and small in size, she drew water slowly, but steadily, into her friend's huge vassel. By the time her friend's vassel was filled, it was late, and the girl was exhausted.
But knowing the house and poultry needed the water, she persevered, and began filling her own.
As she returned, one of the chickens had died due to the afternoon heat, and she was promptly beaten by her mother for taking such a long time. Her friend, meanwhile, told all their other friends how slow the girl would work, and that she would not amount to much.
Days later, the poor girl killed herself by jumping into the well, therefore ending a pitifully misunderstood life.
Perhaps you can enlighten me on MiNE misunderstood life - why do I need to care when nobody else does? The saddest part is, I keep running into these people whom I cared for so much when they needed me, but threw me out when they could stand on their own. I still ask, why?
Perhaps tomorrow yields the answer, and the day after shows the pocks. One thing's for sure though, today's been difficult, and tomorrow's hard to go by.
I've gotten so many knocks on my body I think my door would feel ashamed - with all the running around and equipment transfering, I think I can start a Moving business.
Too bad I didn't quite have the time to fish out my camera today to get some shots, but I think there are some on location being passed around.
Sorry all, it's been so crazy with my schedules I don't even know when the day start or when it can end. It's almost as if I'm running like a 24-hr convenience store without any shift change or temporary closures.
When everything suddenly becomes clear, we get right back to the start to only find what's at the beginning and how it would favorably end.
But by the time we realise it so clearly, it's probably finished like a bad movie ending that leaves not just a bad taste in the mouth, but a really bitter after-taste.
A Rapsani and Alexander (both Greek) sits on the rack in the office and I could not find the right balance of time to have them served, primarily cos I couldn't find the best time to do so, but critically cos there's no one to sit and enjoy them with.
They were good recommendations, and I told myself that true faithfuls should get a whimsp of it, rather than some mono-thinking crank-shaft.
I can't believe I'm actually blogging, really, cos 4 days of gruelling shoot ended in the most unexpected serving: like ordering a complete value meal and realising I haven't reached the fastfood counter.
It's funny how a person can change so drastically after being with another. The power to influence and of influence can be so huge, that lives can be altered so indefinitely, and without any pre-emptive calling.
After losing sleep for countless of days, I've noticed how old I've actually grown; and after the hair cut, the hair-dresser frankly, but briefly, blurted the amount of whites on the head.
And I thought back about the days of youth and glee when innocence was the order of the day. Did what I wanted, dreamed all I can. But it's all fluke: as of today, I can calmly say I've come some way, though not there yet, but gladly been here.
Mommy once told me that one shouldn't use the word regret, but how not too? I would still love to goto the mama shop to buy tikum and win something; perhaps hang out at the CCs and void decks just telling silly jokes; maybe even skate at the open roads at where I used to stay.
Now to do all that, what a sheer waste of time.
Yet, that would make me happy.
Ride and fly brothers and sisters, for when the time comes, we will only look back in dismay about how time flew and how the forensics of science made us complicated.
Being all grown up has an omnimous effect on people around us: most consciously - things actually gets on a move. But where it moves where it goes would have to wait and see.
Pull out that old album when you see this, you should relish the fact that we were all 16 once.
I unceremoniously broke 2 glasses while washing 4 just 2 days back, and I still wonder how it all happened.
I mean, it's not like I was clumpsy or born with butter fingers, but breaking 2 in a row is a little too much to take. Perhaps slip-ups are just waiting to eat in.
Honestly, I can't think of much intelligent things to put here tonight. All those music that I was working on must have bumped all that creativity out the head overnight. The saddest part is, I don't even know what's going on tomorrow for me till I think really hard, like having to think about what I did when I was 5.
It's been a while now. Think I need a haircut. A funky one!
Shall get one tomorrow and present it to you guys later!
I have kinda neglected the blogs for a while now, but yet, I can't quite remember what to post. Fact is, work filled to the brim (and I still don't see the darn Vit Ms) and I hardly have time to even sleep.
Whinings aside, guess the only thing is to leave you with a little thought:
That's pretty much it: almost a month of non-stop work that steals into the night, and practically every other night. Funny thing was, it gets scary after midnight - nobody, no sounds, nothing happens.
But, just think of rent, and I'm back on the job.
Anyway, this marks the first weekend that I actually could get out for a breather:
I'm always with Hot Babes...
Regardless if they are somewhat unco-ordinated.
Street Hip-Hop Dance at Far East Square. Interesting. First time seeing it here.
Makes sense?
Nice bar to chill on a Saturday Night.
Then, came Sunday out of nowhere, and the first thing I noticed was how clear it was today:
Some days are just better like that...
And we're the lamp-post.
Anyhow, passed by the abandoned hawker centre opposite FMO and just decided to take a few shots.
Great news! We've got our 30,000th visitor, but we don't have a clue who it was! So the grand prize is now added on to our 40,000th visitor prize! MUAHAHA~
Anyway, I was desperate for some cables on Monday night so I sped to a jam studio that was closed for the day, and then headed straight to Mustafa. Of course, I did my little side-shopping, and guess what I found?!
The New EXO-FORCE by LEGO!
Didn't they used to insist on Smiling faces?
But who cares?! OMG! My new hobby!
Oh well, I'm tired. Hope this week ends on Saturday so that I can rest on Sunday itself. Praying.
Yeah, I AM actually COMPLAINING. I've got some neat stuff to report but it's been really trying a time to get stuff up here. I need more time in a day man.
Some people think they are so beautiful (which I beg to differ) that they would do anything to keep that image there. Okay okay. Maybe they do hold a better placement in the looks department to more people, but hey, no need to go queenie over it.
Anyway, I learnt something really cool today: The Art Of Avoiding Payment (TAAP). Several steps you have to synchronise with first - you have to be really nice to your suppliers from the beginning, beg as much as you can for a job well done, and act dramatically pathetic.
Next, make a mental note what your suppliers' payment terms are, don't sign anything, but keep the project going as if the dateline's anytime your client calls.
All this in place, you start the project, and everthing moves because you're the poor thing who's being ping ponged between the client and supplier, but little do they know, you're the overall winner at the end: you pocket the money from your client, and you slash and delay the payments to your suppliers.
Come end of project, if it's C.O.D., remember - pick up the product yourself, in a cab, and pretend the cabby's pissed and you got to go. That way, you're not at fault, and you can afford to push the payment till whenever you want.
Cool isn't it? Perfecting this is extremely easy, just don't end up the supplier, like me.
==========+==========
Oh well. Time to remove the mask. Literally. Sleepy, night cyberspace!
Okay. I couldn't fine the right word to describe Automatic State Of Being Ashamed, so I came up with this one.
So, yeah, today I was feeling ashamatic about being somewhat stalked.
Stalked. Yes. Stalked.
By a guy.
HE, was in the same train cabin when I rushed into it seconds before it moved off; I got myself a seat, and I think HE spotted me. Cool physique, wearing cargo pants, white shirt, and a cap to hide (I presume) his slightly balding crown. Seemed to be in mid- or late-30s.
I noticed him standing near the doors looking at me, and throughout the duration of heading to the next station, HE hesitantly inched closer till HE finally sat down beside me. I repeat. SAT DOWN BESIDE ME.
I was figiting with my phone, and I think HE thought I was trying to signal him something, and HE, started to figit with HIS fingers, and I was like...
OKAY.........
Anyhow, speeding up the story, I know HE was trying HIS best to peek at me, but I just sat looking the other way, till we finally reached my stop, HE was like kinda disappointed that HE needed to get out. So till the last minute, HE finally stood up, and was (I assume), sad to leave the train. And I was like, "DAMN! SAME STOP!"
Me being me, I tried to act as normal as I could, till the doors opened, I calmly stood up and left via another exit door. At this junction, HE sped up from behind, passed me LOOKING at me, and slowed down in front.
As we went up the escalator, HE actually turned round to look at me. Trust me, I nearly fell down the bloody stretch.
I tried to speed past HIM through the gates, and guess what? He was actually trying to figure out which way I was gonna go. Oh man, I was like, speechless. To cut this short, he didn't follow me I think, but I just dared not look backwards for fear I would give HIM the wrong signals.
But fact is, even if I am interested, isn't this a little too crude? Sincerely, he must have been extremely attractive in his younger days, but then again, why would he resort to throwing out such strong signals in public?
So I re-analysed in a hetrosexual situation: would a guy or girl actually outright show interest in public? Why not?
And I finally decided - HE was free to do as HE pleased, but as for me, I felt that automatic sense of shame for feeling so uneasy about it. It's nice to be appreciated, or be attracted to, but somehow, that traditional therapy for the last 3 decades helped little to instil a proper sense of being open to the concept of freedom.
I always thought about me being opened to all kinds of things, but today, it's otherwise. Perhaps I have more to learn about being so, and respecting those who so choose what they want to be or do.
I don't know. I'm glad I have a little pull-power, but somehow, it just didn't feel right.
And I asked myself why. Guess what? Had it been a girl, and if I ain't interested, I would probably feel the same way? Then it occured to me: I wasn't interested in that dude, and perhaps that made me uneasy when he tried to get my attention.
Oxymoronic - guess I ain't biased, I was just not interested.
So? Back to square one. Thanks for reading.
==========+==========
I kinda need to announce this, after somebody was secretly rejoicing about topping me on the charts last week: as of 2 days back, that blog fell nearly 30 places, and now, I'm almost breaking into the Top 50. PLUS! I'm hitting 30,000 visits soon.
NEH NEH NEH NEH NEH~
Wait wait, got to do it in THAT BLOG's fashion: *Jumps around for joy, clapping hands, singing songs, throws confetti*
You won't know what it's like to have the air-conditioning fixed... It's... a fresh of breadth air... It's... earth comes to heaven... It's Believing is Seeing~
The elation is... estatic... cool... flowy... definitely irresistably candid...
I don't think I handle people very well, especially pushy people. Hence, with the recent spate of events, I decided to indulge myself in andorphinic stimulation to boost my happy genes. I definitely need more chocolates than this.
Oh, for those who were wondering, yes, I do do spellchecks and grammar corrections on my entries.
Yeah, that's why we are work so darn hard for and take our work more seriously than we really need to. The funny thing is, when you're hungry, you'll do just about the most absurb things to make things better. Yet, somehow, we lose ourselves in between, rediscover, and go round in circles trying to come to terms. The oxymoronic state of a limbo changes into a Libran unsettling pursuit for balance.
Oh, did I mention about the rain this morning? Refreshing~!
Of all the automated-telephone systems, I like the local telcos best: You practically press ONE all the way, and you still have to speak to the operator. Don't buy that? Just make a note the next time - for english, press what? for service enquiries, press what? to speak to operator, press what? You get the point.
And why are some of you guys putting topless pictures on MSN all of a sudden?!
==========+==========
Lisa darling, didn't know you've been popping by. Thanks. How ya?
Okay, I'm not trying to make this sound like some serious, all-so-important thing that went on eons ago, to inculcate some noble values, or teach us all an incredible lesson through this space-warped time - BUT this is really hilarious:
Now, this is not just some bird shit: this is serious shit man! Notice how the air-conditioning compressor measures up to the blob of shit? My Gawd! It's Huge! And trust me, the bird must have had such a bad case of tummy upset that it probably blew its ass getting this shit out! Molly Shit!
Anyways, I was introducing that pile of shit to anyone whom passed by the pantry at the office, and the joke's on everytime! Talk about shitty days~!
Still, I got back to the office today cos sissy presented me with 2 fabulous art pieces for the walls in the studio! It's amazing:
Pretty! And Huge! Thanks Sis! Ain't gonna put more pictures here cos you really got to see it on your own to appreciate them!
Saturday was great, was down at the new revamped Marina Square and got a couple of things at one single shop! And Musica Loca is one of the things!
Musica Loca!
And with me in it!
And this, the Happy Kid!
Alrighty, I guess all that in-between phone calls kinda put the nappie in me. Off to bed cyberspace!
I was looking for the correct spelling on a couple of words during my last entry via the net, when I typed in the address bar "dictonary.com" instead. Then it occured to me: you actually need to have spelling basics to use "dictionary.com" at all. How stupid.
