Graduation shows are always so inspiring! Not to mention all that food and visual and audio treats! Ha~. Yes, Jean. I know I missed yours. Or is it like still yet to be held?! Anyways, figured yours would be looking at scalpers and knives, not really my cup of tea la.
Anyhow, was at TP for Samson, Rainer, and Xiaotian's graduation show: great stuff they've put up, with seriously a lot of efforts put in. Sam and Rain did their own films, haven't seen Sam's but Rainer's Peranakan film was not only visually aesthetic, but a real thought-out piece. Xiaotian's conceptual Asics campaign was a breadth of fresh air certainly. Well, I can't elaborate, so head down to TP for the next 2 days to catch their works yourself!
As proof of purchase, I brought some nice pictures home too!
Me + Candy striking a lovey dovey pose! Ha~. K la. One-sided.
And that's the usual Kenny with Candy. Duh...
Me + Rainer! My first REAL Peranakan friend! So proud yeah?
Gonna cho cho some balachan fomula from him soon!
That's (getting stale) Kenny + Rainer...
Me + Sam! Well, ok la. Always teased by me till he couldn't
smile for a decent shot. But hey, we still attached yeah? =)
Ok. Kenny + Sam. See! Sam really hates me... and if not for
favor, I wouldn't need to post Kenny's portion of the pics! Grr.
Well, great fun, awesome show! Now tired must sleep. Nite!
Well, well, let's see: I did a random question, getting a few friends to show me what it's like to take a picture, PROFESSIONALLY. And who knows, this is what they took, and said:
YK says: I like foregrounds, gives depth.
Can says: Love the pipes, off-center stuff.
CN says: More of the skies, accent the birds.
War says: Nice to have the birds' profiles.
I say: Just shoot. Ha. Okay. Not very intelligent there.
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Had a pretty random day today. Not much to gripe except that work is killing me as usual. So out of all that randomness, here's my take:
It's been fun, considering the amount of things done and not done, and you wonder what's the point of doing them at all in the first place. I wanted to type something here tonight, but it somehow ran out the door after a phone call came in. So yeah. Goodnight!
I must have gotten into at least 4 seperate "Panic Hours", as I love to call it, today alone. "Panic Hours" are usually last minute requests, final processes, or immediate actions that usually last for about an hour, where everything just sinks into a complete state of chaos. And when that hour passes, that sense of relief and relaxation is totally welcoming, and makes you think if it was all THAT called for.
My last one was like a warp-time worm-hole: after arriving late for a dinner appointment, I zoomed home at break-neck speed, and got down to uploading a video clip onto the server. That's when I discovered my home XP-SP2 doesn't have the power to convert the file to size it down, so moved on to my MacPanther eMac to do the conversion, but lo-and-behold, time stretched cos the eMac was cranky, ate my thumbdrive, and crashed itself. I moved back to XP-SP2, got the drive fixed, went back to MacPanther, got the video fixed, uploaded the darn video, and guess what? The server took the file, worked fine on my side, but the client couldn't grab it.
The irony of technology. Life improved leaps and bounds, but shoved it up your arse anyway.
Now, things are settled in, and I'm just waiting, at 3:30am in the morning, for approval to proceed with the work tomorrow.
Anyway. Had a swell time at Aivo's opening! No pictures, but I certainly met some long lost friends (for a while) in glee! Alan & Euge: CONGRATULATIONS! And I'm so in love with the studio! Hehz.
So for those aspiring stars, now you have Aivo Entertainment to try for! More news on that later.
I've been missing my trash bin for the last 3 weeks! I mean it's like, why on earth would anybody steal ma trash bin?! That is filled with trash?! That is thrashy?! I pay for monthly maintenance man! What happened to the thrash people?!?! Aren't they finding something missing when they take my thrash?! Like my thrash's not in the bin?! And there ain't no bins?! OMG. What's wrong with all these thrash people?!?!?!?!
And here's what got me baffled today: this dude... I presume quite HIGHLY educated, with a very HIGH end job, probably kinda HIGH in the social ladder, asked for my MSN, messaged me, chatted me up, then lamented that he's pissed off with me cos I ain't giving straight answers. I'm like... I don't even know you! OMG. I just don't get it. If people want the definitive answers, why bother asking? Just go dig! Don't dig me and say I'm thrash! OMG. What a thrashy topic today.
To think I felt so sad after that cos I kept trying to recall what I said wrong! But I didn't say anything wrong! What was wrong was cos I didn't say much, and that was wrong! OMG. Something's wrong here man.
Now thinking back, I think it's all very silly. Especially me.
Anyways, a friend popped by the studio today for a visit. Gracious of him really, considering his like 7 years a senior, and a veteran at people's relations. And me, this kiddoe with an S on my forehead was just a pure horrible host I think. But he's great company definitely since I'm usually alone on normal work days. Thanks Alan!
OK. Now I feel better. Especially after all that thrash talk. Now I can sleep. Hehz.
Have you ever taken your shirt off and just look yourself in the mirror, and just seriously look at yourself? That naked truth about yourself? And ask that one question about yourself? Are you who you think you are, whoever you are?
I did. And variants of the same answer pops by every time, to the point I don't even recognise the root anymore.
Someone said I'm hardly ever serious; conversations with me were usually silly. How to be serious when you're void and consistently being scanned like a barcode in everything we do in life? Assessment and judgment past every corner of the streets, behind every chaotic facade of the buildings, above all lazy sewers that pump the very honesty in dirt, spelled in stench.
And when the New Year drummed in, somehow a brighter day is born.
A Family Portrait. Start of the day.
Prayers. Next in line at Godma's place.
Tongue In Cheek. With sissy at lunch.
Sporting. Striking a pose.
Well, it's been a great start to the year, although the fatigue set in fast and quick during the drive up to JB. Got caught in a jam for close to 2 hours on the way in, and 6 hours later, another half hour jam back home. Was too tired to do anything constructive, although we were kinda screwing around with the camera for a brief minute:
Bro with his apple.
Me with mine!
It was worth it, considering the get together was kinda brief but intense. Poker, munchies and small talk were captivating, unless the quick rain's factored in as a downer. Otherwise we were all good.
Just a couple more pictures that I thought made the mark into my own picture hall of fame:
I drowned a roach earlier on. I think. Why were they even invented. Ain't no help to the food chain, and certainly don't contribute to the eco-system in a positive way. They only spread enough diseases to keep populations under control. Little deaths in disguise.
I just found out that I've fallen out the top 100. Felt kinda bad cos visitors to the blog has dwindled and content has been less than content. They are probably just headers with a tangible one-liner. And that's pathetic considering all the years of blogging and story telling, yet, its demise would have been the failure to sustain small talk. Worse, no talk at all.
If it's something I wouldn't do, that would be putting something up for the sake of putting something up when there ain't nothing else to put up. Of course, deliberation is justified at the moment per se, but otherwise, constructively speaking, it would have just been pure aesthetics and boredom.
Was talking to my dad on the way to Godpa's when he told me about a near life-ending accident which he nearly got into just yesterday. I'm glad nothing bad happened, but made me wonder just how safe we can all stay in life. If anyone can just suffer a cardiac-arrest anytime, or something along those lines, it's best to put the prospectives in place, JUST in case.
Anyway, dinner at Godpa's was great. Thai styled buffet with some of Godma's cooking, and probably about a hundred guests coming and going. Was just funny to be eating not knowing anyone except my folks, Godfolks, Godsiblings, and the food.
Well, New Year's on the way, will definitely get some pictures locked in soon. Night cyberfriends.
Okay. It was, strange. When someone asked me if I came across any job openings, for a friend he promised to help, I just kinda went "huh?!"
Not that I don't buy it, just that he specifically asked me because he wanted to fulfill his part of the promise, so absolutely straight-laced about it. It's just weird to encounter such direct requests.
Then someone else messaged me on tblog, and I promptly replied. We agreed to carry on chatting on MSN cos tMail's just... Anyway, added accounts, but never got to say hello due to time zone differences. 2 days back, she asked who I was, I didn't know who that person was, and I promptly got a rude remark that I'm a stranger (minus all the profanities), and I'm getting the block. I was like...HUH?!
Lesson learnt.
Last thing to lament... Singapore service standards should nudge a few more places down. Unbelievably bad.
I think the Chinese people are one of the most enterprising people on earth. Any opportunity, they'll just make it work for them, earn their bucks, and just walk away pennies richer.
Am kinda stuck here to finish some projects up, but Chinatown has pretty much turned into a nightmare for people seeking speed shopping: the crowds are choking practically the 3 streets that surround the train station.
But amidst all that fanfare, somehow, looking out the window of the studio, I find myself laughing at the squeezing bodies down below. Funny though, I have to squeeze through to get to the office. Laughable, but I'm back up here, it somehow felt like winning some prize.
Was fixing some items on all my blogs when I kinda stopped to read some old posts - realised all of a sudden that I've been writing for a long time, about many things, about myself a lot, and consistently adopted the most neutral perspectives to kick asses.
That is just so wrong.
And I also realised how shallow the recent posts have become: factual, accountable, uninteresting. Not that I'm hungry to get your attention everywhere, but point is, now that the blogs are trimmed down to a few posts, it just doesn't come through that I actually do write. Sensibly. At all!
I'm like a complete dud!
For one, I know I've been deteriorating both physically and mentally: I've got more medical conditions now than I've ever imagined; and work, stress, pressure, obligations, and whatever else that culminated in the past 30 years just kept pushing me into this confinement of thinking, re-thinking, analysis, and then, avoidance, play stupid, and finally, vicious-circle return. It's like, pressing the Enter key and typing dot dot dot all over again.
Life's been good, that much I must admit. To know that people take me as an old well up in the hills offering sweet thirst quenchers is nice. Not like everyone gets to be one.
I don't mind. I really don't. At least I'm appreciated in a way.
With everything that has been happening, I've been looking more and more forward to getting out, relaxing, chilling, and doing silly things like in-line skating and tanning. Been passing those things up for money. I'm hungry, and I cannot persist being so hung up about it just cos there's bills to pay and mouths to feed. The more I want to strive, the more I find myself stepping backwards towards oblivion.
I would stone often and just go completely blank on a clean sheet with nothing to put on it. But as long as it is required, I draw from previous successes and emulate them like a new and improved robot, ever the one to refresh and build on, till it becomes a copy with new decoratives and colors.
And that made me slide a long way into self-destruct mode. As long as I don't outlast the creativity, it would all be manual re-appreciation of past works. I can't believe I'm copying myself!
The more it gets nervous, the more I try to keep calm. A full run into the recesses of failure. How else can I explain that?
With the turn of the new year, I thought things might improve, with more to look forward to then just teenage indulgence. Sure, so many people who have not been in touch, and suddenly seeing me all went, "Oh! You look... DIFFERENT!" Younger, maybe. Vibrant, maybe. But its all outwardly facades everyone would want to upkeep. And all for what?
Self-gratification for the need to be presentable for? Money.
So goes the old tales of successes found in the placid lake, when hard work and long toiling will one day pay off. That's the keyword, "ONE DAY".
To wait and look forward to that 'one day' is certainly enticing enough. But the process certainly takes forever. I'm not whining, I'm just wondering if the factual need to succeed would eventually clash like titans with my ego and perceptions in the end.
Strangely, I've been indulging in things I didn't used to: easy, no-brainer online games; food; scary movies; ice-cream.
Needless to say, the need for more needs become obvious. When we used to be happy with the completion, now we want results plus rewards plus recognition plus everything else. A pat on the back no longer suffice the thirst for more and certainly don't fulfill the hunger to even more.
Yes, I have been complaining a lot about being tired lately. Rightfully so, but that wasn't what I used to me. I ain't old, I just don't want to struggle anymore with little things, like fatigue and arguments. I don't get anything out of it anymore, not like I used to enjoy running out at 2am in the mornings for a cuppa 30 clicks away, or persisting in pushing my ideas of world fundamentals of nature.
I reminisce, and would like to indulge again. But no way - I've got a company to run! I've got clients to serve! I've got a family to look out for! I've got me to take care of!
What a load full of crappy false-hopes!
Pretentious. I want to revive that being of freedom, of rebellion. I don't know what exactly knocked the steam out of me, but if I don't do them now, I certainly won't do them all again.
So, seafood buffet next week to gorge myself to death, whole-day tan to heat myself down to bones, and off-road in-line skating to skid to hell. Now, that sounds like fun.
One thing I really need to get done though: find another me, slap ourselves silly, suck ourselves dry, and live happy we made it out alive!
Upgrades, downgrades, I don't care. Just show me the sun, the sand, the fun, and all that jam.
When reminiscing the past was thought to be the favorite failures of all times, it seemed to affect those with moderate successes. Those who truly landed at the top probably had too little time to engage in that.
Talk about talk.
Had a pretty interesting weekend and week start, considering the routines were double-fold with the birthday thing. Although it would have been fabulous with more time to spare for quiet moments. But I guess I shouldn't be asking for too much.
Met an ex-colleague on the train yesterday, after taking a quick stroll round Chinatown. Seemed that he's been doing well, and much accorded by the boss. I'm happy for him, although certain questions still remain in my head over how he managed to get where he is today. Not that he's bad or anything, just wondering how he could have stuck with the company that long.
Granted, I think perseverance was a virtue I used to ignore, but now that I'm taking that seriously, things should move along with greater ease and speed.
What I do hope is that the aura stays and the vibes continue. Without an anvil, no swords are made, no wars are fought. And that in itself, is an oxymoron and conflict.
My birthday wishes never once genie-ised. Or perhaps I never did remember. But one thing's for sure, this year, too many things to wish for so I kinda just gave up on that. Better to trust my hands and ears than pray for Heaven's gift.
One last thing for tonight. Learning is cool. But experiencing yields life.
Yeay! Finally found some time to head back to the beach!
And how could we miss the Sentosa Express?!
The Express passes St James Power Station!
And here's a view of the Sentosa gates we've never really seen~
While they are still building the new musical fountain,
thought we should snap a shot for keepsake!
And the viewing area extends out to sea with huts on stilts~
But of course, the Siloso Beach Station remained the same...
Nonetheless, 2 happy kids back for some sun...
Gluttoon couldn't stand not taking pictures too, so he was
digging into the bag for his camera...
But who knows?! He couldn't find it! Ha~! First time wor!
Still, he was sporting enough to smile for mine =)
Strange thing was, we got there for about an hour, and the
skies got overcast real quick - so we kinda bailed out
before it started to rain. What a bummer.
Went over to my brother's place for a simple house warming dinner with the family cos he's just moved into the new flat, unpacked, but at least kinda settled.
Mom and bro preparing in the kitchen. Thought this shot's sweet!
Sissy 1 taking a back stand. I dunno. Kinda like disapproving
of how brother's doing the preps! LOL.
And Sissy 2 helping out there too!
Dad? I dunno. Was trying to fix something there. Probably his
ideas in the kitchen got thrown out the window.
His place is nice! But more pictures later when he's unpacked
and more settled in yeah!
Okay, not exactly everything that went on, but let's start here first.
Here's me, with black hair all. Upset all. BUT it's ma big day!
Most exciting pressie of all: A GIANT MIC! OH, I LOVE THIS THING!
Had ma fav lunch for lunch! As in food la, not just the cucumber...
With this self-embarassing machine...
I dunno, seems like he's storing food in his cheeks...
Probably more there... I really dunno!
Ok, not exactly the best captured moments, but at least I tried! +D
Well, didn't take any pictures for dinner, cos there were some mis-communications over who I was supposed to have it with. Nonetheless, had it with Sissy down at the Asian Kitchen (Marina Square branch). Was fabulous except that the menu was different from the one at Raffles City. Grr.
Anyway, this is kinda done in reverse. Will post up the pictures and probably vids on the Birthday Surprise over the eve either tomorrow or something cos the pictures are back in the office. So yeah. Laterz.
Graduation shows are always so inspiring! Not to mention all that food and visual and audio treats! Ha~. Yes, Jean. I know I missed yours. Or is it like still yet to be held?! Anyways, figured yours would be looking at scalpers and knives, not really my cup of tea la.
