Took me a while, but somebody finally got the video up and running, hopefully for good. And if you must know, IMHO, this is what I call a rock band, even before U2 made their first cent on their records.
Funny though, for all the years I've been a mini-fan, until Gilby Clarke mentioned, I never really thought Jim had that sexy husk in his vocals that was probably the only one in the entire industry. This song is one of my personal favorites, but just in case you think it looks a little old, this was made around 1990, and that's more than 16 years back. So for those born after '91, these guys were rocking the world before you even started diapers.
I don't know. Maybe I'm whining. Maybe I'm complaining. But that's how it is. I honestly love my job, I just hate the way I'm being used sometimes for my expertise that had me days in school, months in learning, years in training, decades in looking for the better solution. And what do I end up with? Conceding to favors.
Not that its a bad thing, I don't mind helping out if I have the time seriously. But pushing me hard over a favor isn't exactly very conducive to work things out. For one, it eats up time, adds stress, and tense the situation like a blob of jelly squeezed into a test-tube. Yeah sure, we've all survived it before, but its just being demanding that I hate.
And I already can expect the end formula, a warm smile and a big thank you. What am I?! A static doll with moving arms to get a piece of work done, get thrown about, and when its finished, I'm the greatest?!
Utter Bull.
I've had just about enough going Pro Bono. I sure can help, but I sure can't stand tyrannical behaviors laced with sweet scents of gorgeous niceties. It's disgusting.
I guess what brought me to bitch about myself is sitting here, typing away, eating out of a cup noodle mixed with beer at fucking 2am in the morning. Isn't it pathetic? I work so darn hard yet get bossed around by puny non-payers and got to be home eating chow.
Oh, and the bigger is coming in June, where everything and everyone's gonna be a tupperware party that is plastic to the core. I think I've found enough excuses on others' behalf to clean their own shit.
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Vesak Day for the last couple years have been the same - will always be at Godpa's prayers. Funny thing was, I overheard a lady asking (presumedly) her boyfriend why I was given a white amulet while the rest gets a colored one.
I was kinda embarassed cos I was taking up everyone's time for a bit. But thinking back, I should have just turned round and said, "Cos I needed more help!" LOL
Well, she had her blatant attempt to right her feelings of being inferior today. But I guess, if the heart is where it is supposed to be today, she will know better. Of course, telling her who she was kneeling in front of was really tempting...
Oh did I mention the Chinatown Hotel boss has a really mean temper? Kenny and I wrapped at the studio about 2 plus yesterday morning, and had some munchies at the Mac, then, realizing how packed the roads were with hopeful taxi flaggers. Anyway, that's not the point. We were trying to get a cab when this stupid drunk dragged his girl up the hotel entrance, and moments later, he got chased downstairs.
Now normally I see the boss as a really nice and patient guy, you know, hotel owner, customer service, you get the point. But this ass must have said something that seriously pissed him off, that he was yelling profanities at the top of his lungs in the middle of the street!
The best part - while the couple stumbled off, he threw a glass at them! It splattered all across the road, and he was still screaming at the couple! And to get that man angry, I can't imagine what that guy did man!
Still, when we couldn't flag a cab down, we called for one, and headed back to the studio to wait. Guess what? The boss walked towards the direction of where the couple stumbled off to, and was so obviously trying to nail his ass! OMG! This is one pissed guy!
Drama for a change I suppose, though I get that alot round the area, just never really seen one from script to film end. Ha.
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Can I just ask, out of curiosity: how many of you will actually buy the next Nightsound album? Or you won't buy before you sample, or you wouldn't even consider it? Or worse, who's Nightsound?
It's been a while since I've made an entry anywhere across all my blogs. Not that I don't want to, but whining doesn't quite make it any better, especially when there is so much to whine about. Okay. I didn't want to. =)
But truth of the matter is, it's been a long haul since anything positive has come up. And perhaps something better will happen in the days to come. I mean, since everything else's rock bottom.
Oh boy - a warm shower definitely makes a difference.
Guess what, collectively, crawling into the 170th hour, I actually managed to rebuild all my FFX characters from scratch to hit one wonders. That's nice for all the hard work made the fiends like some kind of paper dolls.
To top it off, I've ALMOST managed to crack every single quirk in the game. Darn I'm so proud of myself. Yes yes, I hear you. But slow and steady does make the race worthwhile.
The artwork for "Circus" is done. That's a load off the mind for one. Just hope I save up enough to put this out, if it even gets a chance to be considered in the first place. Oh, and it's worth waiting for. 2 years in the making certainly don't make it shoddy.
I'm gonna just hit the beach tomorrow. More reports in a day.
I know there are a lot of aspiring talents amongst us and within ourselves. I'm not too sure if I've outgrown humility and gotten my head a little big, but sometimes, things should be improved upon.
And thought I've heard some bad stuff online, but going on this new portal to me, I just couldn't quite comprehend what some aspiring songwriters and performers were trying to get at. I do remember my own beginnings where people were just short of stumped after hearing my works, and they did offer encouragements thereafter no matter how hideous the music sounded.
But here?! What am I supposed to say? Of course, I chose silence, cos criticisms are damaging, and encouragement would have been rather fake.
I'm not saying the stuff were all bad - I did find some real gems. But my take is: if people are serious about trying stuff out, at least, do it with pristine quality and effort. Some of the music I heard were just plain lazy - 'live' performances through PC mics?
Would love to help some of those who are more serious about their creations, but limitations and pro bono just don't quite work out for me at the moment. Talk is cheap, but thoughts are cheaper. Therefore I think, and won't talk.
Anyway, if you have time, try voting a 5 stars for the fun of it. The vote buttons below.
So where were we? Oh yeah, the skies been a sapphire for the last 2 days, and its great to see the sun out and the clouds scattered. Can't wait to get back to the beach, just need a little more motivation to move myself there.
Dad's been trying his best to help motivate me along though. I know everyone at home's been kinda hung up about my situation, and I know they would help if I asked, but I think it's only right I get things sorted for all its worth.
Still, I'm looking forward to June, where I can seriously put things in perspective and weigh the consequences of past actions. Timely to put results against preparations. Looking up in the skies in the coming days. =)
I woke early, went for morning coffee, got to the office, felt half alive, had lunch, stoned with Doraemon, then sat for 2 sessions that nearly killed me. Not cos the sessions were a pain, but I was too darn sleepy.
I dragged my ass home afterwards via the subway, and made a detour to get some chicken dinner. Then I saw this chap sitting by the station entrance steps, munching on cup noodles.
And he looked around at the passing crowd, shy.
Strangely felt the same way.
It's been a day when I have no drive, no motivations, no sense of humor, no vibes, no attractiveness, no charms, just shame. I have to admit, I think my game is almost over.
If I know how it happened what can be done, I wouldn't be in this state of limbo pock.
Dad, has been very encouraging.
Yes, I shall go to a party on Thursday and just let loose. That sounds like all-hell-breaks-loose. Ha~.
It's really tough, to keep telling people everything's gonna be alright; in itself, it's already a double-edged sword - cuts both ways with absolutely nothing in the middle. Knowing the pain is one thing, but to take it in, and to help people work it out, that's something else.
A young teenage girl nearly-drowned attempting to aid her struggling friend in the pool. She passed on after a 13-hour fight to stay alive, but failed after multiple organs failure.
Got me thinking - am I soluble in my own life, yet, when we do a simple meager comparison, I failed miserably. In all aspects.
It's really not about being the pillar of support sometimes, but rather, how my own life holds up to great deeds by the most unseeming people. Just to disclaim, everyday people are heroes, and I am but a side-kick in training still. One day, I will become my own hero, perhaps. But till then, this wondering phase of solubility seemed somewhat over-the-top.
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A year back I used to frequent the 7-11 along the main street near my place every couple days, to grab a couple beers and some chips home for the late nights that I stay up, sleepless.
Lately, it's gotten slower. Maybe being older made me hesitate a whole lot more than before. Motivation is stronger, actions lesser, words fewer, thoughts greater.
Guess I've been really sore over some minute incidences which, I honestly think, should not even waver a hair on me. It was things like favors, returning favors, asking for favors. I run out of steam everyday just thinking about them and the saddest part has always been me unable to figure which is which: I'm dumb, or some people are bad.
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Got mommy flowers for tomorrow. That's after Angel got some for her mom, and I was feeling a little bad to not get. Left them in the fridge, hope she likes them.
I guess little things mean a lot these days: I just stayed for 8 hours straight working on an arrangement pro bono for a friend, and it feels suddenly like the best achievement in weeks, not to mention the focus really did turn the troubles away, even for a little while.
In my face is also the visitor counts - it sure ain't like before where people regularly visit just to see how I fooled around. Now, it's like a dead-zone. Kinda nice though.
Horoscope's been painting a positive picture that stark contrast reality at this point. I hope they do a more accurate word count next time.
I'm definitely falling behind my daily musings on the internet, and findings of my own life as well. So much so that the lag in intelligent posts are getting quite obvious, considering the run-up of posts till last year were great lengthy stuff that not only I enjoyed flipping through, but sure annoyed connected denizens is a big way!
Was just having a chat with dad over mundane business things. I got to say, he's one cool cookie to be talking to: his expressions are restricted to expressionless or raised brows, and his words are worth gold in the context of wisdom.
And he's not afraid to move with the times, although he does somewhat linger largely on past experiences to help steer his motives and thoughts in tandem with progress.
That is rare considering old, lengthy folks tend to be, yeah, lengthy. =)
Anyhow, I've been having bad hair days cos the uncontrollable growth is driving me nuts. Whites are starting to appear too...
It sure felt better after that pretty long chat with the old man. For a day filled with dumb-ass unbearable heat, this is kinda nice an end for the day. Not to mention all that ease.
I'm inching bit by bit and simply drowning in waves of bad news today. It's like getting out of bed the wrong way, hitting the head on the showers, getting shave cuts, finding a hole in the pants, and finally wearing different colored socks to work.
And the realisation hits: I'm in a day of bad lucks.
If bad luck had a personification, it'll definitely be the combined efforts to hit home, hard. I have no idea what is happening, nor do I know at what rate this is gonna last and hang on with its death grip. If only its as easy as pushing square square, cross, left, right, L1, circle then triangle, that be nice for a change. Then collect experience points and pick up all that extra gear or ammo to use for the next round.
My eyes went pop when I finally heard the song on the CD: I could never imagine a little guitar, some drum beats, a dash of strings and cello could be so... ENCHANTING.
Engineering marvel.
Try "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce. It's just like "Hide And Seek" by Imogen Heap.
I was just pondering about what makes a person smart, and what makes an achiever achieve. Then I thought about what if I had worked a little harder and got a good high paying corporate job. What I came to, finally, was, I think I love what I do.
For those who still wonder about your job, perhaps, this might help.
Some years ago a long lost secondary school mate called me up for coffee. I was surprised, after all, its been so long, and I've always been the black-sheep in class: the least hardworking, but probably one of the more artistic creatures at that time.
It was nice to catch up, especially after all his years in school all through to university, then helping out with his mom's fabric factory, his acumen for business and architecture finally brought him to Shenzen, China, where he ran a partnership architectural firm. Small projects were all he could gather then, but the money and success seemed a matter of time.
I was still working for an audio post facility at that time, so I was in awe when he told me his stories. I, too, wanted something of my own. Of course, the years he spent toiling has been grossly truncated here.
Having gone for a diploma in media, I've always felt a little shallow, and a tad too under-achieved. At that time, a senior who graduated a year ahead of me was prepping her way to UK, where education at some prestigious arts college became her calling. We were great friends, and we kept in touch for the longest time.
By the time I graduated and started my first job, she was already heavy into her work. I remember for some time, she would call and sometimes complain about her workload in school. At times, she would just break down and cry, questioning if she was in the right course.
Years fleeted by, and now she's back; and having worked for a couple years, she seemed to be sweeping those doubts away, although the doubts never really went away. Just last week, I heard one of her projects reached Cannes.
I wasn't a real fan of books and research, never once, never did. Another friend I got to know was a linguistics student, doing what he believes is the 'true' discovery of human communications. I don't question that, I just thought it was helluva boring thing to do.
A couple times I caught him feeling dejected over his works, not cos he wasn't good at it, but the burden and the unforseeable future took a toil on him. What job would he do? What future will he have?
Graduation got nearer, and he was all flustered. I remember one particular occasion where he asked me what it all meant. I was, for a bit, at a lost on how I should answer. But soon, I knew it was the only thing he would want to do. Research.
He applied for the next level of skills and educational training, and after numerous tries, he finally got a positive response from a favored institution in the US to continue what he loves.
2 weeks back, my sis got the family down to the hotel she works at for lunch. At 80 over levels, I was a little dizzy looking down from the glass elevator on the way up.
Having started work as a clerk in some brokering firm, then getting a decent marketing job at some agency, she worked inch for inch, her way up, garnering her experience and success, but never forgetting her roots with all her previous bosses.
As hardwork has it, she eventually worked for multi-national companies, doing ground breaking things like loyalty programs for corporates and service providers - yes, in that pioneering era of loyalty programs, she was probably one of those who extensively expanded the possibilities - and eventually worked for people like R.Branson: think Virgin.
Well. I'm not too sure what it means to you, but hardwork and persistence don't quite alone make it count to where you are today, or where you would be headed for.
Of all these people, they shared one common trait: they love their jobs. And all of them would say that at some point, they hated the load and the responsibilities. But they loved their jobs, and they still do.
And if you are not convinced, then, perhaps, you should look closely at why you hate your job. But if you do love it, perhaps this is the time to make it count.
Sometimes it feels as if walking is better off without legs. And just sometimes, it feels better to not have said everything that I wanted to say at that desperate moments. At least it somewhat diffuses the differences between rights and wrongs, and it gives more room to consider my absence in my soul.
Such greatness has prevailed that I could only believe it has become a work of art. 3 different individuals asked me on separate occasions, on how I could still move on despite all that has happened, and how I deal with the cruelty of reality with such ease sometimes.
Truth is, I never really needed to deal with it, 'it' being the tough times that always crash like an egg on the floor. Rather, I never wanted to deal with it.
Considering my options which are grossly limited recently, I don't have much choice except to look at the situation, laugh it off, and pick up the pieces. Yeah, like they say, easier said than done, but what if I did bother much more than I have now? Another heart attack? Not worth it at all.
Now that things have moved on like clockwork running on endless power, there is no real need to look back. Sure, snooping around for information is always exciting, but wasting precious time on anger, frustration, and hope, is but redundant. I cannot visualise myself drooping on one side of the face, and trying hard to remember what goes. Perhaps it is better this way, cos what ifs are too hard to phantom, and hopes are too hard to catch up with.
I'm excited though. At least, I've got something to do now. So much for tenders.
Wanna shout out to everyone who's been drifting in their own worlds for the last 6 months. I'm always here, but I'm having difficulty catching up with my ailing health. So if you wanna catch up, just buzz me. I'm just a phonecall away yeah?
Weather's been erratic, so put on more clothes. =)
Almost covered like a hundred episodes of anime within the last 2 weeks, and its making my eyes swell, head zonked, and taste buds cranky! I've never had that much animation my whole life in 14 days and the overdose is making me swirl...
Anyway, I think I'm feeling better after that bout of fever and what not... probably due to over-feeding of dried seafood and air-conditioning. I'm glad the holidays kicked in to touch base with reality, but for better or worse, I'm at least making headway in having mental cleansing in a big way.
Its been thundering off for the last couple nights, and getting out the bed has been... tough. Too cosy under covers to be heading off somewhere, anywhere, though I do hope it persists for the next few days and make beach-visits a must!
Took me a while, but somebody finally got the video up and running, hopefully for good. And if you must know, IMHO, this is what I call a rock band, even before U2 made their first cent on their records.
