Well, Nat's got this online shop going, so I thought I'll give him a plug here. Do check out the site if you're interested in bags (for now). Curator says he will add more stuff along the way - we'll see =)
I've been so disciplined these last couple weeks, I've gotten that much productive, I've actually turned the bio-clock back to Singapore local time, I can actually recite my daily meals, I think I'm going bonkers.
Until last night, when I just flipped on my PS2 and fired away at practically anything that moved.
Obsolete as I am sometimes, I do try to keep up with the times. After all, regardless of trade or professional, its fun to upgrade, at least to a certain extent.
So I tried, finally, my first MMORPG, GE, and I was like totally blown away at the tension, stress and pressure to perform. That's really when I discover how uncoordinated my hands, eyes, and brain are.
Honestly, I love games, not in a fanatic way, just something to kill time and chill to. But MMORPG demands your total concentration and idea. I saw someone running past me and I just had to keep moving, no idea where to, but just to keep moving, as if I know something that he/she does not. And I shamelessly made my way through like some seasoned MMORPG dude who's got nothing better to do than try GE out.
Perhaps, I must add, competition online is as good as offline. But put it this way, at least I quested. Have you?
For as long as I could remember, it's been a hard slog over the last couple months, and the sudden serenity beckons like a phoenix to the dreadful souls that line the outskirts of hell. I have become subtly aggressive, and painfully quiet. Impatience is showing through on random bursts due to the surge of heat in the weather, and I gradually have been surfing through the tides of play-along.
I missed a relaxing dinner with dear friends on Friday cos of a last minute booking, all for a disgusting hundred bucks. That sure will pay some bills for now, but digging in with old pals would have surpassed that. Circumstantial. That's what I always say. Against, for the rest, but always for myself. I wonder where the road ends sometimes, cos it doesn't seem to stop twisting and new signs are always planted: no need roads and its always the same old path, but the advertisements and directions that line the dots somehow makes it complicated - and we're still headed to the end of the road.
Aroma therapy came up as a shot snip on Discovery, and I suddenly feel that it might work after all - 12,000 unique parts to a single drop, that's really something. We absorb it through the skin or simply through scents. Kinda amazing considering we junk ourselves practically everyday, yet something so pure that is so good is within our reaches, but never once taken wholesome.
The practicality is obvious: if it relaxes, that spells productivity. If it cleanses, that equates health. So why not? It's not as if essences are pricey. By comparison they have seen commercialism breeding abundance. Well, maybe I should consult some experts soon.
The last 2 weeks have been on-off retail therapy of sorts. Got tons of stuff, blew hundreds, and now just waiting to tabulate the damage done. What I'm impressed with this time though, is how un-impulsive buying seemed to have become. If I don't need it, that's probably useless. Saintly (pun intended), there are better things to spend on.
And to add on, just in case I forgot, Friday's morning trip to the beach got busted too cos of an insanely early meeting. That translates to a wasted trip on the last tan, so I'm back to pearl white like an old coat of paint fading out to reveal the concrete white beneath.
That sucks.
My proudest purchase to date: a huggie Ultraman for six bucks. It can't stand, and topples cos its head is just simply too big - something to just make me smile before bedtime. The cutest part? It's leaking its beads and shrinking by the day. Ha~
Anyway, for those who are enjoying the GSS, have more fun and take it away.
It began when I hit the bed at 6am in the morning working on work, then woke about ten, rushed to the office to carry on the work. By lunchtime, a client popped by to drop stuff off, then I had a really slow lunch intermittent with work. It just went on and on till 3pm, when I couldn't take it anymore and just fell flat on the couch for an hour, amidst all that work.
And one really long hour.
I woke only to find the Mac misbehaving again, and the whole situation just deteriorated. Then talent showed early. Then client showed up with an unconfirmed script. Then a quick job started that became too darn long.
I was practically struggling. It's like, I no longer could find the physical energy to pursue quality, and certainly not heading towards speed.
What kinda swept me off was that sense of doubt and defensiveness that the talent was putting up but trying ass-hard to tone down: he knew the trio back in those days, and supposedly had a better relationship with them.
Having heard all that nasties that they've been spreading, I couldn't help but feel belittled by this guy, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.
It was difficult: I was tired physically, and even more so over trying to prove my worth, my individuality, and certainly, my innocence. It really sucks when the world listened, and judged. Victim or not, I have always been at the end of the line - somehow, in some ways, I just cannot rid the taboo that they have created: that I was the one who played dirty.
So the session ended, and it just ended there, with me in front of the computer, trying my best, putting forth all efforts to stay focused, and completely distracted from the whole issue. At one point, I just stoned.
I know my brother told me to put it all behind. So did everyone else in the family. And everyone around me. But remember, I'm still consoling, I've yet been consoled.
As I sat blank, self-pity and aches just simply crawled over, and that was it. The Universe of Hope became the Depths of Despair in an instant, and I just wallowed in the pyre. While I was betrayed, I was labeled. And as I was blamed, I was condemned.
Perhaps the many people who read my life and fortunes were right about one thing: I would not attain peace till much later. A decent and comforting thought, but consider this, the strength that carries oneself, by oneself, would have already made it so. Else, the game ends, and someone wins and someone loses.
There was this aura in the studios today, as if someone or something was deliberately delaying my work in the office, making it impossible to go on, just so that I would come home to my only safe-haven.
That very same aura also brushed past me like an enlightenment of sorts, bringing with it a funny feeling of helplessness amidst a glimmer of hope..."
That was supposedly posted last night, but I think I forgot to hit publish =)
Was at Broadcast Asia today with 2 absolutely boring guys with zero sense of fun and humor. I mean... yes, we're there to check out the latest offerings, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't enjoy the day! It's like... I was practically touring the place with 2 girls! All shy and seriously unresponsive. Even getting autographs are like... asking them to fart openly.
Anyway, I wouldn't care too much about boring people would I?! I had my share of fun and excitement:
World's Largest 103" Plasma! Woohoo~!
And saw this mock up studio... SERIOUSLY...
Crossed over to CGOverdrive - Love the Art!
So obliging know!
Maybe it's just me, but... are stormtroopers like...
that short?
It's been fun! Met some cool friends, but the biggest reward was buying a box set for $10, that had some postcards and T-shirt stuff. Amazing thing was, Square Enix people were in town, and we took the opportunity to get these famous guys to sign the postcards! Final Fantasy co-director Takeshi leh! Actually, I don't really know who the guys were, but cos my companions kept blowing the trumpets for those Japanese dudes, I felt I just have to get their autographs!
Only to find out later... they aren't that famous outside the CG and Games industry.
Kenny & Kevin... YOU 2 CON ME... I want my ten bucks back.
Wait wait... Some more I didn't get to wear my own T-shirt first! Wah Lau! CON JOB man.
Been listening to this fabulous Blues album, recorded 'live' along the way on a roadtrip - it's certainly got me hooked.
Nothing much has been happening lately, except working on a wedding album that's taking longer than anticipated. It's kinda weird cos, I mean, I'm used to working with professionals, and maybe just a few wannabes. But training an entire troop on recording antics... that's just totally mind-blowing man.
The guys would be eager to go in, get it done, and get out. The girls, well, some would hear what you have to say (but they won't listen anyway), while others just do what you tell them. Then, guys would laugh it off and forget all about it, no matter how bad they do it? And the girls will just hide at the slightest boo-boo.
In case you take it the other way, I was talking about the behaviors during recordings. Watcha thinkin'?
Anyway, sis been sick the whole day. She looked like a wreck when I got home and heard her puking. Hope she gets well really soon cos bubbly people ain't no way be living like this.
I've always thought things simply; perhaps the naivity did me good in some ways - I didn't need to doubt what exactly people meant, I just needed to know I'm alive and well. Not a selfish thought, but certainly a little kid's view of the world.
I do wonder sometimes why things got so out of hand. From being free, I've binded my hands to gain per se, and closed my eyes to move on per se. Seemingly, the path forward is laden with traps that would spring on each careless step, then swallow me whole and bring me home, if not the starting point like a board game.
All these came about lately after the songs were picked up and I finally found how 'arranged' they would be to gain exposure. I'm certainly for it, just that I may not be happy doing it.
I'm not too sure if I'm selling myself out. Seemingly.
Ok. So The Cure is coming to town. Fabulous news. It be great to see the legends on stage with my own eyes than some DVD video of them strutting their stuff. So that's nice.
Been catching up on some shopping. Not fantastic discounts, but got some interesting pieces for everyday work-wear. That's nice too.
Finally clearing up on a few pro bono projects after ping-ponging for a while over them, with astronomical amount of changes and ungrateful, shameless requests, at least we're closing on the finishing line. And that's definitely nice. After all, getting too much done for nothing just makes people hate their jobs.
And now that other things are in motion, I certainly hope I can garner more time for my own stuff, not to mention real work for my real passions. Guess it'll be slow moving around here for a little while.
I'm outta grooves man. To think today was bad - having to deal with moms, clients, friends, all at a go - tomorrow's gonna be crazy.
Just controlling myself from exploding at that dighead who has been threatening me with his I'm-paying-you-so-I'm-rig ht attitude. And he's gonna be the one I have to be with for the entire day tomorrow! WTF!
Seriously thinking how to play this guy to his ends so that he will never ever pound his seniority over someone he thinks he can pick on. Fuck, I get paid 3 times as much for a job that takes half the time as compared to his.
Then again, I'm calming my nerves with only one reason: if I don't survive him, I can't survive anyone. Honestly, that's a good enough reason for me. And I think mom was really sweet today, but she seriously made me run all over cos she was trying to help. Okay, I hate to say this but, sometimes, not unless we know that help is really needed, help can be more harm than good.
I shouldn't lament about her. Probably speak with her tomorrow to see if she's mad or anything cos I told her to just relax and I'll take care of my matters.
Or at least that's what I call it all the while! Keke!
Cast & Crew.
It's great to be invited to the screening of the film, especially when watching it on big screen doesn't happen very often! Despite the weather, I think everyone was cool catching up with one another. Well, would have been better without my headache though. Nonetheless, all the way guys!
Bluff one lah! All the good stocks keep, all the half-pail stuff put on sale. Lousy.
And HORROR SCROPE say today must be ambitious. BLUFF ONE ALSO LAH. Later got session, do what?! Close my eyes and record ah?! Then evening got screening, do what? Close my eyes and watch ah?!
And when beating the heat is the least of my concerns, tempers flared cos of exactly the same thing - the heat. Summer on the equator is interesting: you get sporadic rain that comes and goes, makes the air heavy and wet, then drives you bananas with momentary cool breeze. It doesn't matter which direction you're facing, or whether you coastal or inland, the weather is just pure unpredictable.
So how am I supposed to plan for tans now?!
And to top that, the 2 beachettes are busy - one down with rashes that never seem to go away. Solo seems to be the only solution...
I'm truly divided. The decisions weighing on the album are truly deafening. I wish it was an easier decision with either a gem or a piece of crap. But mixed reviews? Tough.
Perhaps leaving was a good option that made me value myself a little more, like maybe I'm beginning to love myself a little more, dote on myself a little more, and take care of myself a little more. It's strange when circumstance makes us look outwards instead of ourselves many a times.
Well, Nat's got this online shop going, so I thought I'll give him a plug 
