For once, somebody wrote a song with the word "halfway" used in a full way!
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Well, the mouse just died on me... Can't select anything that needs a drag and drop function. Don't really wanna restart cos it takes forever... but... I think I got to. Till next time Cyberspace! Sleep tight =)
It probably is cliche to even blog about it, but there is not an instance where I started a post with a name. It's not that I don't want to, but sometimes it gets a little touchy when I mention people in a way they don't see themselves.
Like my dear friend who's been in an emotional roller coaster ride for a while now... How am I suppose to say it to you... Let's see... Move on! LOL.
Okay okay, let's be at least a little proper here. To me, being together with someone is not about the vibes, the compromise, the being there for one another, the live a life brand new with each other; I've always advocated the being together is like 2 strangers suddenly brushing shoulders, saying a hello, flashing their smiles, fresh as day. Then each goes home and starts thinking about it, never really comprehending, just wondering.
And when it finally happens, they get along, they go with their wishes, and fly right to the skies hopping on clouds, chasing the wind, basking in the sun. That's all there is.
I hate to say expectations are lewd. But it really is. For what one expects another to do sometimes measure greater than the Richter Scale, and can end up higher than Everest, and even heavier than gravity. And that easily destroys the very foundation that it would have stood on, paving way to deep voids and disbelief.
Quite strange that I would blog on a work day. But you sent a piece of tune that carried the world's hope of getting back together... it breaks my heart. To know that you are still so much in love, so tender in your approach, and so looking forward to being spoken to, and returned to.
I'm not sorry, except to call you that fool who never learns, the tragic that is tragic, and the angel who has been left behind. You live, thinking, breathing that non-existent hope, but yet you hope so persistently. For all that effort, no Olympic medals would suffice, no Nobel Prize could respectfully honor, and not even a World funeral march be enough to take away that pain. It's so silly. Hurting yourself and all those around just for the demise of something that could have possibly not even take place in the first place.
I'm a blogger, blogged blog. You are a lover, loved love.
Yes, I wished time had stopped for you back then. But you know, and I know, the time is over. We'll do what we can to keep trying, but sticking your feet in your mouth isn't going to help.
Beautiful tune, honestly, filled with whatever you wanted to say. I wish you well, but don't ever lose track of the others.
For every ounce of hurt you've felt, another ounce is passed on to those who care about you, and loved you, no less, but at least just as much, if not more. And for every bit of shame and regret that you feel, they feel more for not being able to ease the pain, let alone take it away.
Don't forget, we're all alive. I'm not dead yet. =)
A little flower bud grew right smack in the middle of a pavement crack, where people walked pass without a second look. As days flipped like the pages of a calender, the bud grew bigger and taller, and finally, on a Sunday morning, it rained. With that few streaks of light left peeking through the clouds, she bloomed, slowly, yet steadily, fighting the gusts that swept across the pavement, pushing against the falling rain, and steadying herself against the splashing water. As people ran past her, she bloomed. And bloomed, and when she finally stretched herself out, a bicycle ran right through her. She was squashed against the massive weight, and some petals were torn. And as the rain turned into a storm, the weight of the raindrops pinned her firmly to the ground, never relenting a moment where she could get a breather.
Yet, she rose, with iron might and an unbending will, she rose, all petals, leaves, and stalk. She rose.
Ugly a bloom she became, but it was no bloom less.
Yeah, I thought I was careful till today... finished work in the wee hours of the morning and headed for a little bite at McDonalds with Kevin and Kenny. Had my fill, chatted tons, chilled, then left and took separate cabs. Halfway home did I realise, to my wonderment, I left my wallet behind. Of all things. The last I left something there, my dear zippo lighter.
I got my wallet back of course, thankfully, but the point is, absentmindedness has become my greatest enemy. Let's hope it doesn't get any worse.
Been getting a lot of stares and looks today... wonder why.
You know, I never ever learned how to spell the word "DIARRHEA". Why can't they just call it "shitloads", or "humanniagra" or "letitflow"? Anyway, that's what I've been getting for the last couple days, and I nearly humanniagra in my pants cos I've shitloads in the morning 3 times already. I wonder when this letitflow will stop... The doctor's magic kinda not working at the moment.
I used to have a playmate back in Primary school, where we used to sneak out during recess to the tiny monsoon drains just outside to catch tadpoles and guppies. The school fences were tall and overgrown with morning glory creepers, so its hard to spot anyone just outside the fence sometimes. But kids being kids, yelps and screams usually give us away.
Which reminded me that there was this rumor about a grave that existed in the far corner of the school field which was replaced by a sand ditch for long jumps. Everyone used to avoid that little corner, until we decided to explore that part a little.
Tucked right at the edge of the school field, the furthest point from the classroom blocks, the sand ditch sat there, ditched. The school hasn't used it once the 6 years I was there, and nobody ever plays in that corner cos it was just too far. When we finally got there that one afternoon - a whole bunch of boys filled with gusto and false courage - we kinda scared ourselves silly when somebody stepped on a concrete slap. Believing it to be the tomb, some screamed and ran, while the others closed in for a detailed inspection.
Well, it was a concrete slab. For the long jumpers.
Anyway, coming back, while the party dwindled to a mere few of us, we went right to the corner to what seemed like a little hole in the fence. As we got closer, we heard a voice talking from the other side, which, again, freaked a few others out. After keeping silent for a few moments, we finally realised... its the neighbor staying just beyond the fence.
To speed the story up a little, we kinda searched for the opening, but instead, found a path leading somewhere. The vegetation got a little thick so the path was kinda hidden away. But by the time we boys brushed and stamped our way through, we finally found the fourth gate for the school. Which was nice, considering it convenient students entering from that side of the school. But the locked gate was just that. Another locked gate.
We headed back and asked the teachers about the gate, and it was apparently closed because the staff in the school had gradually been reduced, and the gate could not be guarded anymore. Hence, they decided to just open 2 out of the 4 for security reasons.
Did I mention we used to get free rides from teachers on the way to school? Since it was a pretty long walk from the main road, teachers passing by usually pick up as many students as they can on the way in. Of course, there were instances we would hitch a hike with passing motorists we knew.
Life was simple then. Couple weeks back, I offered somebody around the estate a ride to the inside of the estate. The auntie looked at me like I was some robber or baddie up to no good. Times, have certainly changed.
Coming back, this playmate of mine was a terror in class. He picks fights, is loud, foul in his language, and totally angry as a kid. But, no matter how agitated he is, he always, SOMEHOW, tops the class. Oh, I remembered, when a classmate decided to take up the dare of putting a green bean in his ear and then letting it roll back out, but got it stuck inside again, he was the one who laughed the loudest... for days. And the bean... well, the school dentist couldn't take it out, and they promptly packed him to the nearby hospital to have it extracted. Funny thing though, he came back with a little sealable bag containing the extracted bean for souvenir.
Guess what the bean was doing in class? For the Science project - growing sprouts from the beans. And he dropped that bean into his water dish nevertheless. Duh.
I guess my point is that, as we grow older, we kinda forget all these little details that make us what we are today. I remember sitting by my mom's bed and listening to her old wives tales, and my grandma's stories of the war; my dad's incredible tales out in the jungles, my sister's horror accounts in the school's haunted toilets. All that slowly faded away while we progress with increasing madness to stay competitive and sustainable.
I've been trying to build a place of my own that screams tales and fantasies, hopes and dreams. Yet, people pass through my doors everyday concerned about their daily bread and butter, or their life and death.
It is beyond wonder why people worry too much. Like Irwin puts it, humans just think too darn much sometimes. And with that, it breeds a continuous decline in our humane behavior where we care less, enjoy the materials more, but never regaining that innocence of being.
I wish you all well, but sometimes, letting go is a really good thing.
I've been appalled at recent news: Lydia Sum, god-mother of Hong Kong tv past away this morning. A career spanning 40 years that ended in a flash. I've watched her since young, always the bubbly, versatile actress that I remembered so fondly. She's every character she's been in, and always the loudest =)
I'll miss you.
Then there were back to back news about the country's bid for the Youth Olympics and the already deemed success of the upcoming Aerospace show, against a grim backdrop of domestic problem of unkind behavior and suffering.
Amidst employee welfare lapses, against widening income gap, upon rising costs, more reckless drivers, all of which printed bold in the papers, the seeming progress the authorities laud about somehow don't quite make sense when I see even more folks picking cans, sleeping on park benches and rising tension of working adults in everyday life.
I was plugged into my iTouch just the other day and blasting out music, when I actually heard a mother screaming at her kid right at the entrance to the subway. The kid was too short to tap her card, and mom with pram in hand with another child in it, just let her frustrations go at the kid. For almost a full minute. I could still hear her on the way down the escalator.
Even the train staff couldn't do much. She just screamed.
There are a couple more instances I've witness but never could quite grasp, but all pointed to a higher stress level to succeed and a lesser will to give hearts. And with all that mind to make it big, I wonder, when will people stop to look at the beautiful blue sky, the blooming flowers, the shady trees, and the next person like its the most incredible thing that has ever happened?
First, my mom came down with a cough. Then my sisters got sick with the flu. My colleague suffered the same, and now I'm down with flu-like symptoms too. Talk about being sick, this is seriously not going well.
And because of that, work is falling behind like a speeding train. Argh. The weather's been good, I'm just wondering why this is happening.
Anyway, this year's supposedly a good year to work hard and reap some rewards. Hope that's a good calling.
But before that, was out delivering some work when I heard this chap telling another in their car how he was pissed and should have punched the fellow who pissed him off. It was kinda rowdy a conversation, couldn't help think how bad tempered this guy must be. Then it occurred to me that they were father and son, and the father was quite unmoved about what the young guy was saying. To think of it, must be a severe case of compulsive behavior. Sad.
Anyway, we had a big party at SMB last night, with booze and chips and an incredibly kelong game of Pictionary. And here to present the all-stars at the party!
Me + Sisuen da jie!
Me + Cheenien bosu desu!
Me + Cherisse pretty!
Sabrina + Me + Denise + Andrew the art farts!
Eric + Me in a... um... arm raising pose =P
Kevin + Me + Kenny + Ian on a roll!
Me + Jaz for the records~ she's till flying!
Me + Eugene + Alan + Xun the winning combi~ Special photo treatment hor!
What a party! Hehz
And somebody was doubting if the party would last till 1am. Yeah, we left at a clean 4am PLUS PLUS PLUS! Imagine that! Nonetheless, those who didn't show up, shame on you, bigger pressies to bring the next round for you guys! Of course, Bam and Tak, no pictures with you chaps cos you left so early~ tsk.
Well, that's all for the night! Goodnight cyberspace!
It's been a few tiring days so far, to the point I think I need to cut back on brain-filled activities. Just a couple nights back I totalled myself just before bedtime - wanted to head for the bathroom when my leg got caught in the quilt somehow. I broke my fall the first time and thought I was good, but fell flat on the floor the next moment when the foot, which I assumed was free from the tangle, got caught and dropped me right to the floor. The twisted big toe suffered an abrasion that bled and was... well. Painful.
Couple funny things I saw too: was heading up the escalator leaving the subway when I saw, a few steps and crowd ahead, this really huge, middle-age executive-looking dude carrying a shiny sports bag (like duh) listening to his iPod. Style is subjective but he just looked wrong. Anyway, when we got to street level, my eyes nearly bled: he was wearing a pair of green-colored, tight-fitting pants to go with his white long sleeves. Add that to his serious expressions, I was blown away. And this guy is big!
Got out the station yesterday and saw this guy sitting by the wall of the station. That's when I noticed he was actually working on his laptop. Strange enough to be working there after entering it, but that's when I realised he was plugged into the stations electrical power socket probably cos his batts ran dry. Duh.
And just last night, I headed down for a smoke when this guy walking past the front door was walking and kinda like juggled with his cigarette box. It was so clown, and when he finally couldn't catch the box and it dropped, he kicked the box right under a vending machine probably due to the embarassment... and yeah, well, there goes the cigarettes.
I'm waiting for pictures to be sent to me so that I can put them up here, but NHK is really taking his time touching them up! Ha. Oh well. Probably more next time when I don't need to sit here and wait for people to finish their work...
So it seems the festivities didn't blow over as quickly as I thought it would be. Strangely though, everyone's gonna be back at work tomorrow but somehow the parties thrive along just well.
Nevertheless, don't ask me why, but being back at work since Saturday took quite a bit of steam outta me. Thankful that I actually finished what I needed to for once, although the momentum wasn't comparable to the more... youthful days.
Not much time to make resolutions also, considering the mad rush to get the party up, and to live through it like it was all well. Glitches aside, I shan't complain too much about tempers that flew across the last week, save for a couple which I thought might be interesting to lament about when I have the time.
It's an 8 o'clock wake up call tomorrow. How wonderful. More in the next post. Goodnight cyberspace!
And to think all these shameless people have no presents for my birthday~! Argh~! @!*@&#(%%!#?<:" So, I decided to gimme myself a couple!
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A brand new hairdo! Stella, this picture's for you! =P
Okay okay, I know you can't quite see the new hair and all, just make a date with me and I'll show it to you in person! Hehz. Anyway, thanks to the amazing crew at Lala Salon - Stella, Ah Long, Alan and Ivy - patient bunch. They always make me look better each time. They are at Telok Ayer street, so give 'em a buzz if you wanna look fabulous!
That's all for today's short entry, gonna try enjoy myself for the next couple days. And before that, here's one more picture to make the statement:
For once, somebody wrote a song with the word "halfway" used in a full way!
