Somehow it feels like the time to get back to the roots, head back to basics, and return to the beginning. So says this guru who thinks its better off this way then trying to synthesize something totally new without knowing what the ingredients are to the broth. Don't be afraid to relearn lessons, but be afraid to do something without thinking.
And after hearing all the big brouhaha about donuts, I finally decided to actually join the queue for once and see what the commotion is all about, and boy, was I surprised, not by the variety, but by how knowledgeable the people around me are. About the donuts they were buying. About the various half dozen, one dozen selections. About the ingredients. About the recommendations. Heck, everyone else in the queue can go man the counter anytime! *slap forehead*
Anyhow, I got half a dozen, I think had one kosong that Angel wanted, then I got 2 others with melon seeds, one with coffee or something like that, and 2 more chocolate looking things. And no thanks to ah boy for bringing some for me the other day to try that prompted me to make this trip tonight. Funny thing is, they are just sitting on the dining table right now. Perhaps I should at least try one later.
Renovations should start sometime next week for the studio, so I'm kind of sitting by the stone bench idling half the time, stuck at the layout, the finishings, and the furnishings. There's always more ideas when more magazines are flipped, more sites visited, and more tales heard. BUT, at least, I'm somehow not really rushing to get things this time. That ought to put some serious thoughts into all that, PLUS perhaps some new murals to go.
I'm tempted to repaint, but I love the dragon/phoenix combi. The collage is awesome, and not other lyrics fit that pink wall. Then again, no change, no gain. Ideas?
People, get ready for change, don't be afraid to change, but think before you change.
"You're bigger, you're brighter than the stars, don't look back to where you wound... somewhere we're beaten, but not tonight"
So goes the title track. I've actually started working on new materials that are not slated for commercial release. Still trying to think of innovative ways to deliver them to faithful friends who have been supporting us all through the years, just not too sure how at the moment. But well, it's a lot of strange arrangements this time round... hmm...
And that's amidst all the messy administrative work waiting to be sorted out so that work can move on, and deals can be cut. As usual, punctuality isn't the best virtue a lot of debtors observe, and as much as I'm trying to make do, can't help but feel a little harsh with smaller clients.
To top it off, with several shocking news this week that almost set off a series of heart-attacks, tiding through it was as rough a time surfing against the waves. Killer waves to be exact. I'm hoping everyone gets through it smooth.
Do you remember how it feels to fail, then you pick yourself up through an arduous journey in life, get somewhere, finally owning something, or doing some good for yourself, and you fall down again through some kind of ill-fate, and you pray every waking moment that it doesn't spiral down no more, and just hope that you lose nothing more, then you pick yourself up again, telling yourself with tears welling up that you can't do this, and you try, no matter how hard, to just get back on par to what it was like, and you pray hard that everything goes well this time, but something screws up, you drop back down, and you start knocking on the door of answers, and the door never opens, and you ponder why the people upstairs are doing this to you, and you lose your faith, you don't get the picture as to how you can push on so darn hard yet something still goes wrong somehow, then you turn bitter and cold cos no answers came, no logic forms, and you feel stranded and helpless, making you retreat further into a corner and at the same time forces you to disbelief whatever you used to believe after all that tough times and rough surfs, only to start doubting whatever it is you do and used to do, believe and used to believe, although no matter how hard you try to make sense of things or try as hard as you can to keep at it, you can't shake the feeling of being cheated of your work, effort, sweat, money, feelings, and whatever else that you think you lose.
You remember that feeling?
I certainly do. And I think the people upstairs have forgotten that I might need a little helping hand once a while. And as the wind blows, the icicles formed a needling thread that seem to reach for the earth but never did; they will somehow but never did; like the ashes set afloat in the open sea, into the horizon that never ends, only to sink to the bitter sweet earth to rot in the bed; and when the wind blows its final breadth, it whispers hope that appears as death; oh what irony to behold, for nothing matters when the wind blows.
First of all, to YOU ass who thinks spamming my blog comments is an awesome way to pass time, it's about right to move on dude. I've absolutely no idea what you get out of doing this here, but one thing's for sure, the excitement is gonna wear thin.
Anyway, finally found some time to hit the beach again, for what I thought would be a great start to this week. Who knows, when I got back here, it was a total mess + disaster. Back logs are getting way harder to clear. Still, some pictures that I took while the moment lasted...
So here we are, back to what I thought was gonna be cool...
To the old familiar things...
With the old familiar cam whore...
And no lor! This picture doesn't make you fat can?!
That's me... wry smile...
Picked the right day to come though =)
All Happy Kids! At least not till I got back to the office...
Spotted this really cool junk-looking boat...
And another bigger version!
Kinda like a convention ya noe...
Hot sun, but that's not the point...
Somebody kept sneaking around for a pot shot... *roll eyes*
And since I'm taller, taking a low angle shot was easy =]
And that's pretty much it...
So much for a day at the beach then getting dumped with loads of last-minutes and blah blah blah. I don't get it. Is everything seriously so urgent?! Can't people like do things a little in advance to clear their own backlogs before throwing everything else on me?! Frus...
I'm seriously vexed out. Maxed with work, and overtly restless with the latest developments. Trying my ass best to put things in perspective yet nothing comes to mind as eligible for a clearer picture, like goldfishes in a fish bowl filled with distilled water. Plus, I think there are way too many unpredictable variables to consider, to the point, simplicity flies like a kite way up there on a thin flimsy string.
The last I remembered being so uptight, was when I stood point blank staring at school admission forms. With grades lower than the deepest sea levels, hope ultimately hangs like a tree trunk snapped hanging by chipped bark. The best possible description to put things in perspective then, was one single question: "What is my motivation?"
Honestly, I don't know. I've scrimped, saved, worked hard, yet, life's impertinence ruled the day like a anvil quickly crushing the paths that is an ant. What's more ridiculous is the cruel fact that, there is nothing that can be done.
With bare hands and greasy feet, I've moved the pyramids of ancient habits and rotten cores over the cliff edge right into the sea of hope. But rise the titans of regret and shame that still killed whatever lingered in the way of cheer. Confetti, applause, and holler did nothing to life the spirits, but the redundant and stubborn political diplomacies always win the day - like a street cobbler mending so many shoes till he can't keep count, but still ends up a street cobbler. Then, might as well quit? No?
Had a good chat with sis earlier on about the family too. Aah, been missing too many things at home. Note though, I don't mind James, I like him in fact, bright kid all, but waking up to open the door in the morning and having to work the night shift is really wearing me thin. Not as if I'm already not 2D enough. Pun intended.
But well, he's teaching me the virtues of perseverance all over again, and I've been ashamed that I almost forgot my first days: that baby step into everything that I am today. It's nice to see a living, breathing reminder of what I used to be, and surely, it brings along a nostalgic sense of well-being, and you've-done-good.
I'm sorry if I've been neglecting all my other blogs, but as much as I've been eager to make entries, the exits show up way before I got that. Plus, plume eyes and a slowing heartbeat ain't no help in garnering that extra big strength to keep the fingers on the keyboard. How I wish I have a day to just sit and fire away. Oh mighty pen that wields the magic of emotions, the messenger of truth, and the fun of rubbish lies: be back to visit not just for Thanksgiving please.
At the very least, in some corner of that priority list that I've tucked neatly in the recesses of my memory lapses, I think of not thinking one day. Have a good one cyberspace.
Let's recount the last couple days where we lost a few entries cos of all the brouhaha:
Friday was the ultimate build up to the week with a full day's worth of recordings, although one particular one was very much killed in the final hour, but not leaving much room to work with anyway. By the end of the drained day, a couple friends popped in for a chill. Not that it's bad, just that I would have wished not staying at the office after an endless week in it.
The exhaustion of course culminated to Saturday's prayers at the temple, rushing back in the afternoon to carry on work, and moving on to a wedding dinner down at Equinox... not after being stuck in traffic for 45 minutes where the usual traveling time would have been a mere ten, then getting stuck in the carpark entrance for a good half hour, making my grand entrance to the dinner practically a whole hour later than the scheduled start time.
All was well, and for such a classy setting, the dinner was relatively gorgeous, save for a few glitches with the speaker systems set up for the "live" acoustic band to play through with. It was loud, we were right in front, talking really loudly like some coffee shop space. But well, we had fun, everyone at the table were the funky ones, and chatter hardly stopped.
And while we were taking our leave, the groom of whom I was invited under, insisted we head to the room for champagne. That, everyone else from my table were rather reluctant, while I've never refused my friend's requests ever. Me being me, I at least wanted him to have a sip of warm water before I went, which he did while the rest moved on, and not 5 minutes later, drunk as he was, puked right on me.
Red wine couple with half-digested chicken and vegetables. I was wearing white. So yeah. I'll save the details. Lee, if you're reading this, you're a Gentleman right till the very end! =)
So past Saturday, and came Sunday morning for home prayers. By the time we were done, the family rushed right down to Singapore Expo for the furniture exhibition, where my brother's works are on display (it's on through the week, and his booth, you can't miss it. Look for the grass furniture). It was awesome to see the designs, although I never really did quite go around at the booths. If fatigue is one, lack of visual consciousness the whole Sunday was just plain bad.
By the time I got back to the office, it was nothing more than dinner time. Spent dinner at Sakae with K and Angel, then headed back home to a big crowd of overseas relatives staying for the night. I don't know, but by then, I was too tired to talk, too lazy to think, and too stoned to make small talk. Didn't craft anything online, and did little with my Playstation. Most of all, missed the Sunday coffee and papers, detuned from the TV, shut the radio, unplugged the CD player. Yeah, that's how much peace I needed.
Well, woke today to another drizzle, tired as the trees that can't bow to the winds, and I'm just done with cleaning out the studio.. Gosh. I need a rest.
YEAY YEAY YEAY! There actually ARE real people who like this blog! OMG... it feels like falling in love all over again! Except, of course... a bit cybermaniac-ly. LOL.
Guess what! I'm so excited today! Cos for the first time... I dunno what I wanna blog after starting to blog! It's not like previous times where I FORGOT what I wanted to blog, but it's total, DUNNO what to blog!
Rain clouds have been moving in steadily over the last couple days, making light drizzles that come and go so quickly, and sometimes at length. I like it like that - the drizzles with some sun, makes it slightly humid but cooling at the same time. Very comfortable to be walking around in the day, and really chilly in the night. My kind of weather =)
I'm sorry to hear about the demise of a beautiful flower. I wished I could do more, but staying out have been the best option yet - too many chefs spoil the broth, and in this case, some matters should not be intruded.
But... what saddened me were how words can be so trivial on the lips of the forgotten and the extras. It's a compliment to the chef on his soup and then toppling the plate without an apology. Or praising the shoe shine boy for a job well done after stepping on poo. Not even lifting a finger for the poor cat who got its tail caught in the doorway.
Heard this one before? A road had just been paved, and the workers had just painted the lines in the middle of the road, running over a dead rat that laid dead center. Tag line here: it ain't my problem.
Plushies used to sit snuggly on my bed cos I used to need many many things to hug to sleep. These days I've come to realise that all them were just plain substitutes. All I needed was a nice thought to hug to sleep, and I'll wake feeling better already. Too many incidences may have jaded that wonderful outlook on life, but it soon fades to another sunny day just like any other. Life, as we know it, is only as we know it. Time to take another view.
Was watching NGC last night about asteroids and comets potentially hitting Earth and destroying everything. Astronomy, as much as Astrology, has always been my favorite subject matters, save for my very limited knowledge and heaps of intuitive learns. Still, that one hour described vividly how a small chunk of rocks can just hit us smack anywhere, and create a chain reaction that would totally risk wiping all us out.
Now you think. So simple. You might strike lottery today, win lots of money, then the next minute, a rock falls out the sky, and everything goes boom.
Yeah well, science fiction poppycock to you. To me, life is only that much we make of it.
Somehow it feels like the time to get back to the roots, head back to basics, and return to the beginning. So says this guru who thinks its better off this way then trying to synthesize something totally new without knowing what the ingredients are to the broth. Don't be afraid to relearn lessons, but be afraid to do something without thinking.
