So how does it work now? I've been, along with Kenny, plunging headlong into a job till we're almost out of steam. I'm just penning a few lines here just in case you think I've gone missing. Nope, all apt and alive. But till there's more inspirations, that's about it for tonight. Yes, still in the office at 2am in the morning. Hope it doesn't turn out like yesterday... 5am...
They've been pretty loud tonight, and I suppose Summer's finally flew in with a couple windy days and thunderstorms. It's amazing how we're all still alive.
Was staying up with the tele tonight, till I decided to stop after a few thoughts about tomorrow's day-sheet. Just a few thoughts I wanted to put down before I go to sleep though. Might not be much, but at least, I think I'm still moving on. Oh, just thought that soccer fans are much like cabbies you know: they've got a whole lot of theories about the game and how clubs should be run, like cab drivers whose ideologies of politics and government policies seem utmost important. Ha.
It's been a few years that I've written any monologues at all since film school. Those were the days I spent thinking about conversations creatively rather than echoing real thoughts in the head. But because of that, it somehow opened doors to the lesser evil, where conversations become more communicated than ex-communicated. Any other way would have been beyond thinking.
I can never truly appreciate human existence and reciprocal feelings of another, which explains why so many thinks that I've done were mostly evaluated and logged. The strategy is to provide a repeated learning from the same incidences that would serve different levels of thinking and expedite the extrication of logical information and solutions across my time. Truth is, it's proving its worth but hardly any less than making me a 'thinker'.
For certain, the label does less to prick my conscience than to betray my worthiness in the deed. The process is painstaking, but nonetheless gargantuan: at the very least, I begin to believe there is a bisection of truth in the rights and wrongs, as well as the cans and cannots.
Whatever it brings, it's made a moto-mouth of me when theoretical identification of subject matters come up - akin to the sea filled with minerals and the mountains with depleting glaciers, the answers lie within the answers, and eventually, sees the question as the answer that leads to the ultimatum of being understood.
And that is it, understood. A matter that is no longer classed a problem or achievement, but an understood fact. Of course, it is easy to mislead the audience with scientific evidence and supernatural explanations and findings, but to completely see through a subject in its purest form has nothing to do with science, religion, supernatural powers, and teachings. In other words, it is understood.
Home, as we know, is understood. It means the place we return to, the country we live in, the room that is our haven, even mother Earth. That, is not science or believe. It is understood.
And I've come to understand many things: hurt, smiles, tension, freedom. The list goes on. But without repeated dissections into the subject, it does not change what is understood, but what is limiting what I can understand. I will eventually transcend into a level of blank, where everything, as we know, is white, just as white is the final spectrum of the universe and its sub-atomic particles.
I believe I've never successfully flown a kite on my own. I might try that this weekend.
I'd like to do something silly. Doesn't matter if it means getting dirty in the mud or having flour blown all over my face. Once a while, it might be cool to try something dumb. Could be standing on my hands and reading road signs, or even putting my head out the passenger seat window to feel the breeze.
Once a while, it might be a happy thing to just sit and stare into the skies, and wonder who lives on the brightest star I see. Perhaps take a walk in the old streets and pick up some souvenirs for a sweaty time-out. I was just thinking, the old cobbler peddling beside the train station might have a few interesting stories to share. Strange though, the little girl who used to help out at the flower store hasn't been around for a while.
A friend sent me Debbie's acoustic "We Could Be Together" sometime ago, and it kinda freshened me a whole lot. Just kinda hope time turned back so that I could revisit the good old times, undo past mistakes, make wiser choices, behave better, probably watch the diet, brush my teeth proper, and kept a better hairstyle. Don't you? LOL
The brush teeth thing was kinda random I know!
Nothing much has been happening except doing tons of maintenance work to clean up the systems for work. Above all else, it's just idling most of the time finding things to do to keep myself occupied. And since I've not heard from a lot of you, here's a long-forgotten shoutout:
- Alicia: found some of the discs of pictures you gave while packing today, thanks! How you doing girl?
- Shin: eh... weren't we supposed to do coffee?
- Euge+Alan: don't work too hard, cos I still need you guys to play!
- Jean: know you're coming home soon! Yeay!
- K2: WHERE MY ANIMATION!
- Jerm: wassup wassup!
- Candy: CANDIE! Is the interview like... still on?! OMG
- Rain: name like superstar, but action like rockstar, how you been man?
- HH: tanktank tikitanktank!
- QX: brudder... when like you ever free...
- Sab: have you like traded yourself in for something else?! Where you been?!
- Yvon: pretty girls sure don't keep in touch wor!
- TP: make more films leh fast fast can?
- Illy: LOL... how's the studio setting up yo!
- Risse: you're the sweetest la gal! Keep rockin'!
- John: dude, drinks some time!
- XR: how's it going?!
- Clem: hello sir! Long time no SOS!
And so many others yeah. Not even sure if everyone on the list would see this but hey, will try harder the next time! Stay safe all! Night cyberspacemen!
Been consistently on a few games on the PS systems, and it doesn't seem like it's going to let up just for the sakes of sleep, cigarette breaks, and even breakfast. But considering this has been a wonderful break from work, and before it starts again, it's been relaxing so far. Not to mention the 98 episodes of Transformers Season 1-4 to finish, then the entire lot of Transformers Armada to complete... we're talking about major rehab, or more accurately, recap of one of the most popular series on Earth, as we know. Probably on Cybertron too.
Anyway, was down at Sim Lim earlier when a middle age man kinda fell right in front of me and HH. It was quite shocking really, and the guy smoking just some distance away from him jumped to the rescue. The young chap kinda struggled a little bit, so I went over to see if the poor guy needed help. Pain was just written all over his face.
At that moment, I just suddenly remembered something somebody said about aging: the one thing that should never happen to someone with age, is to fall down. That could well spell an eon of trouble.
I couldn't agree more. For years, the stories I've heard from mom about relatives who fell just seemed so surreal. Some cracked their bones, some just simply passed on. It can be quite disturbing, but such is the truth that, somehow, doesn't seem able to be evaded. I guess it's only right that things transcend like the old oak trees. That creak with age, but certainly bend with an iron will.
We often lack certain specific physical or academic qualities that have been benchmarked against what prospectus and lawmakers deemed as the lowest strata equation for the minimal qualification, we get passed on in a flash, just because somebody else has it. Despite the awful cry for foul, the most apparent misgivings are usually, lust and greed.
And because it is as such, I often wonder how much chances I stand, say, being offered a-stepped up service from the sales person behind the counter, how much better would I stand against competition, or how much more appealing I would appear in the eyes of people, against some others.
Some of you probably tire of my laments about many of my own traits, physical or intellectual notwithstanding. Truth is, I cannot help but feel far more inferior each time I walk down a street filled with sweet young things, or dread the next meeting with prospectus over business viabilities and how much I can offer in value; yes, distasteful, but heck, I'm human too.
Like they say, be content. Yet, when we all are, something else falls short.
Not that I'm greedy, but because I'm like every other average Joe, I walk into a store and I get prompt service, just so that I will weed out my dollar and not because I really need a product to ease my woes. Likewise, prospectus ask me how much it's gonna cost them, not because the product quality is of priority or top importance, but at what minimal budget their projects can be produced just passing the quality benchmark. Similarly, strangers ask for directions not with me, but with better looking people around me, who, um.. lol... honestly, are often less friendly than I am.
Content is a bi-product of low-esteem and frustration. And content is also when you've had enough. Not to mention, content certainly means you don't want to go on. So is content really so impressive to be valued as a virtue?
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The renovations should be about complete. Actually, it is done. Just short of having to clear up bits and pieces of junk that needs to be either repacked or reorganised. Realised how much gifts I've received that's never really been used. Might as well.
Just wondering when I could pull a little party out on the table soon.
Renovations started 2 Wednesdays ago... Lots of garbage...
But here's a little photolog!
Poor old me.. stuck with everything from start to finish...
From the above, to this!
Yups! It's finally over, and back to a more routine routine. Although, I'm still recovering slowly from the flu, cough and headache, but it's all good now. Not to mention James had put in quite a bit of effort and patience to help out with the new deco and all. Just so you know, James' last day was Friday, will definitely be missing him. But well. For memory's sake:
Happened to glimpse a drama on tv last night, and the male lead gave this really magical line that went along, "I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with you, count the number of wrinkles on your face, pluck the white hairs off your head..." Honestly, I was quite amused by that whole sequence of the couple, drenched in rain, he trying to make her stay.
Of course, conventional kiss-and-make-up stories don't draw no crowds now, so that had the female lead unmoved, and went on to the next scene of him lying on the floor, screaming for her to walk right across him if she so wants to leave.
But strangely, I just so suddenly felt curious: What was the sweetest thing you've ever heard from your love, or said to your love, that moved you, or you moved him or her? If you could, tag me a comment, leave your first name at least, I'll compile a list and see how much truth there are in the drama lines, as compared to real life. Would be interesting to read your responses =) And please, don't make anything up. It'll be wasting our time reading.
Barn, lemme do a little math some time next week to see if I can do a brand new layout and size up the text. Been a little sick and busy to do anything soon. Meantime, IE7 has a zoom in option, try that, should help you blow up the web pages and go easy on the eyes yeah!
Yups, was down right dirty with the sore throat, the precursor to a mad cold, that eventually led to one big headache and flu. Had my favorite lamb chops at the ice-cream parlor on Sunday, fell ill on Monday, saw the doctor on Tuesday, got rid of the sore throat but got the flu on Wednesday, and finally squashed all that viruses today with a second visit to the doctor. The flu got so bad every time I sneezed or whizzed, it tucked at the nerve-ends up in the head that caused this sharp knife-wrenching pain which kept me up for two nights straight. Couldn't keep a decent conversation nor even stand still for sixty seconds.
Thankfully, it seems to be all going away now!
And because we're almost all done with dolling up the place, plus my not-so-speedy recovery over the week, I think I shall be taking some pictures of the studio soon. And I mean in a few hour's time I hope!
Anyway, 11th April marks James' last day of his internship with SMB, kinda gonna miss the little guy cos he's been pretty handy at work, and exudes excellent flair in music. Heard some of his pieces, and I must say, he's got a long road, but a good and interesting one. Gonna have a small dinner with him and the rest of the guys to bid farewell. Hope he'll remember me as fondly as I would him.
Oh, I apparently miscalculated a lot of variables in the renovation works. What would have been a neat and affordable budget was kind of washed out with some fancy things that I bought. Not that there were useless things bought, but more like, I got stuff that were needed which could have waited, and ended up busting the purse. I'd probably faint when I tabulate the numbers tomorrow... I am so sure... ouchx10(power10).
Speaking of equations, I got this really funny SMS about language (what relation, beats me but heck):
"Who says English is easy? Fill in the blank with 'Yes' or 'No': ____, I am a cow. If you do not know how to answer, pass it on to another cow."
I dropped to the floor when I opened it, and forwarded it to the last twenty people who called me. Immediate responses were like, "You're too bored with the renovations is it?" "Moo..." "You dumb cow..." "So are you!"
Talk about come-backs, no one had a snappy one back to me yet. LOL
Lee's wedding sometime last month. Was there with a couple old friends, fast and furious chat all night!
And here's James huddled in his cosy corner LOL!
The renovations have effectively come to an end, finally, and I think I should be able to rest and relax a little. For a while at least. Oh well... would love a holiday soon.
Funny thing... renovations are the most boring things to happen. You can't wait to see things come up, but you don't have the energy to keep watching. You can't do much, although you try to anticipate as much. Ends up just a big holiday stuck in the same place.
Nevertheless, had dinner with a whole bunch of babes at Azabu on Monday to celebrate, um... an early birthday for ma baby:
Eh....
And that's the girl and her cake~!
The girlfriends... on the other hand... looked a little like...
And then there's this... um... *cough*
The only one of 2 decent pictures... the other one being...
My second serving of main course... after one big bowl of ramen...
Anyway, sorry Sab, your pictures got corrupted along with some other food and cake shots... I think I might just upgrade my camera soon. And over my gluttony.. I don't know why, but Monday was like... after lunch, then a burger at 4pm, then the ramen for dinner followed by the hot pot, then the cake, then OMG... I went home for more munchies... I'm fat.
I've been pondering about some things lately, about friends and their relationships, about people's plans, about all our immediate future, amongst a whole host of garbage. What bothered me tons, were the many indecisive and inconclusive outlook. Everyone's looking to improve the situation around them, but hardly anyone's hit their hammers hard.
Perhaps I'm a little more go-with-the-flow adventurer. Things just seem plain crystal to me, but many are having their vision too overtly fogged by either a polarised viewpoint, or a plain fear in moving laterally.
Not that I need to complain, but this is my blog after all. Laments aren't the order of today, but rather, I hope people can see a broader picture rather than trying ass-hard to satisfy the immediate situations, attempting to breathe easy too quickly, too soon. If you are one of them, slow down. Don't go too hard on the acceleration.
So how does it work now? I've been, along with Kenny, plunging headlong into a job till we're almost out of steam. I'm just penning a few lines here just in case you think I've gone missing. Nope, all apt and alive. But till there's more inspirations, that's about it for tonight. Yes, still in the office at 2am in the morning. Hope it doesn't turn out like yesterday... 5am...
