I don't know what to think or feel. Relationships are somehow reiterated because it is necessary, or could have just been, like Jean puts it, a guy or a girl thing. LOL. I found that notion rather amusing cos despite all that we have done, the male and their female counterparts still gap without a realistic bridge.
Interestingly, it does seem I came back to square one on the hindsight, acknowledging that I've come full circle thinking too much.
Something I still don't understand as I would loved to, is how people so dear to me can harbor thoughts of insensitivity, regardless of subject matter. It could be perhaps I am biased in some way to my preferences. Otherwise, I'm just being overtly hypersensitive about things.
One thing's for sure though, what I've ever said and done are nothing less than sincere. At the very least, I do say them truthfully enough to be honest about it. Doesn't matter if I can be read like a book, important thing is to at least know that I am trustworthy, at least for myself.
Jean says it takes discipline to do my work. I say you have it as so long the work has your interest in it. That pretty much sums up everything else doesn't it? Ha. Anyway, managed to get a fair bit done today to kick back for now. Saturday's gonna be packed like sardines again to lead over to Sunday's home party... which till now, I'm still unsure who's gonna show up. Don't matter, I know I'll be around!
We're doing up Surely proper this time. So excited!
I should be angry, but I'm not. =) Just kinda feel sorry for myself.
Encountering some kind of undelivered communications lately: a particular client isn't getting my emails proper and my SMSes aren't reaching some friends too. Looks like we may have another communications issue coming up in the days ahead.
And I can't wait for my annual one week back in the service. For once, I know this is gonna be most looked-forward - the final round - and am therefore more than glad to go! For those who are still somewhere in between... ROD loh!
Okay, I didn't know the back arrow key was supposed to flip the webpage backwards... so yeah, I lost my last post...
Anyway, the run-up to the festivities is reaching its final point, and I be spending the rest of the day at home till dinner. And while the internet here slows to a crawl and I'm unable to upload any pictures, here's wishing you a Happy Lunar New Year!
I refused to tear myself out the showers earlier on till my fingers wrinkled - nothing like a hot shower to set the pace down and end the day like it should, nice warm and cosy.
It's definitely great to be home after a hollow week so far - where a client unceremoniously cancelled a project on the day it should start. Shaving off budgets again in this bad economic climate I suppose.
Nonetheless, with the festivities round the corner, I honestly didn't mind since my time is already stretched beyond rubber. Not to mention the new few PSP pops in the memory card didn't help.
Been a couple months since I last stepped into the movies. Run up to the last concert still haunts with the post-admin, making time for leisure like walking on water. That is, if you don't consider the multitude of Hollywood films that made it more than possible and beyond believable.
In any case, found out not too long ago my roots in music is really folk and country, amidst all the noise generated... weird.
I was pretty upbeat the whole day, especially when it came to the evening when I kinda allowed myself to soak in the festivities round the corners and getting some real work done after days of miserable packing.
Then I kinda felt like a cut tree stump and a used tampon.
I got to admit I'm a real faithful supporter of the local community arts and music. Truth is, I seem to be one of the firsts to be called upon for assistance, and usually the last to be posted on the happenings. It feels like it's become routine, and taken for granted that I would help, at my own expense, but I don't need to be in the loop. As so long the help is expended, its all cool.
Well. Such is the impression I might have been wrongly creating I think. Still, it sucks when I'm usually the last to know. Through third parties some more. This is crazy.
This has got to be the most bizarre and funniest conversation that I've had... After some mindless banter...
Heart says: (3:07:34 AM) and why u always say i freak people out?! Heart says: (3:07:38 AM) hurts man... Heart says: (3:08:01 AM) i noe... u dun like me rite? use other people to hint me rite? jie dao sha ren... Kenny says: (3:08:41 AM) whahhwha Kenny says: (3:08:53 AM) u should noe how u freak k**** out Kenny says: (3:09:02 AM) ppl are just cynical lah Heart says: (3:09:18 AM) BUT i"M SINCERE Kenny says: (3:09:31 AM) ppl who noes u of course noe Heart says: (3:09:36 AM) while ur the asshole who keeps saying i'm a freak... Heart says: (3:09:49 AM) damn... my heart hurts... Heart says: (3:09:55 AM) aching... Kenny says: (3:09:57 AM) but to total strangers of cos they question mah Heart says: (3:09:58 AM) so aching... Kenny says: (3:10:02 AM) whahw Heart says: (3:10:06 AM) wah... BLEED... Kenny says: (3:10:11 AM) can't take the heartache Heart says: (3:10:14 AM) AND IT WAS... Heart says: (3:10:21 AM) WHAT IF..... Heart says: (3:10:27 AM) BY THE SEA... Heart says: (3:10:43 AM) i... BLACKOUT... Kenny says: (3:10:54 AM) then turn WHITE Heart says: (3:10:59 AM) cos of ur rude remarks... Kenny says: (3:11:13 AM) and wake up in FIELDS OF LAVENDER Heart says: (3:11:21 AM) its not funny man Heart says: (3:11:24 AM) the jokes over Kenny says: (3:11:31 AM) bloody hell u started it mah Heart says: (3:11:36 AM) SEE!!! Heart says: (3:11:40 AM) curse me some more!!! Kenny says: (3:11:44 AM) whahwa Heart says: (3:11:59 AM) no HEART u... Heart says: (3:12:13 AM) u will not REMEMBER ME one lor... Kenny says: (3:12:15 AM) hai let this NIGHT ENDS Heart says: (3:12:24 AM) grammar bro... bad grammar Kenny says: (3:12:34 AM) haha im trying liao leh Heart says: (3:12:46 AM) thank goodness we're APART Kenny says: (3:12:54 AM) u want me to FADE AWAY Kenny says: (3:12:57 AM) ahwhhahwh Heart says: (3:13:15 AM) it's killing me... Kenny says: (3:13:28 AM) please dun tell me... Heart says: (3:13:45 AM) it's DEFINITELY not working Kenny says: (3:14:03 AM) whahhw we are seriously going no where.... Heart says: (3:14:20 AM) nahbeh... u always want to out SHINE me rite Heart says: (3:14:40 AM) surely i am someone Kenny says: (3:14:58 AM) give me a NEW LIFE mah Heart says: (3:15:09 AM) u can be so MISTY with ur frens Kenny says: (3:15:21 AM) but now it's just U AND I wat Kenny says: (3:15:38 AM) I.. TELL YOU Heart says: (3:15:48 AM) there's evil around... i feel it Heart says: (3:16:06 AM) i'm getting WEAK Kenny says: (3:16:11 AM) look at your own REFLECTIONS and don't expect me to PRAISE YOU Heart says: (3:16:24 AM) grammar bro... GRAMMAR... Kenny says: (3:16:54 AM) you talk like LADY Heart says: (3:16:56 AM) dun come crying to me and ask me to "HOLD MY HANDS" Kenny says: (3:17:03 AM) IT'S AINT EASY Heart says: (3:17:21 AM) yeah, not easy, right HERE I STAND Kenny says: (3:17:38 AM) i KNOW... though i ROAM around Kenny says: (3:17:44 AM) but I'M STILL WITH YOU leh Kenny says: (3:17:51 AM) HERE I STAND man Heart says: (3:18:00 AM) dun bull, u TEAR ME DOWN Kenny says: (3:18:01 AM) you have HEART or not Heart says: (3:18:26 AM) i can so sense u looking thru iTUNES to find the song titles rite Kenny says: (3:18:39 AM) ah boh Kenny says: (3:18:41 AM) faster man Heart says: (3:18:43 AM) ur cheap, like a CIRCUS IN MOTION Kenny says: (3:19:32 AM) haha you go eat BUTTERFLIES lah Heart says: (3:20:10 AM) dun worry, i wun go the PLACES u go Kenny says: (3:20:15 AM) tomorrow i go LAVENDER extend passport sun bian buy you ROSES Kenny says: (3:20:34 AM) and we shall be APART Heart says: (3:20:49 AM) lies... ur biPOLAR words Kenny says: (3:20:51 AM) meet you at 12:17 Kenny says: (3:21:02 AM) I wait till SUNRISE Heart says: (3:21:08 AM) ur mind is POISONED Heart says: (3:21:25 AM) the WINDS OF MAY can't cool this now Kenny says: (3:21:49 AM) if you not there I will go spend one WILDNITE Heart says: (3:21:55 AM) and dun go reusing titles used before, cos JESSIE DUN CRY Kenny says: (3:22:00 AM) till it makes me WEAK Kenny says: (3:22:25 AM) ahha i KNOW Heart says: (3:22:45 AM) ur still breaking the rule... even MERCY STAR wun be able to help u Kenny says: (3:22:57 AM) shit Heart says: (3:22:59 AM) nor will MERCY STAR 2.0 Kenny says: (3:23:02 AM) u use my mercy star Kenny says: (3:23:21 AM) nevermind I go listen to streetmix Heart says: (3:23:26 AM) too bad, this game is purewhite Kenny says: (3:23:33 AM) dun be a LAO LE MON Heart says: (3:24:12 AM) u should be cast INTO THE LIGHT Kenny says: (3:24:37 AM) no. I will SHINE instead Heart says: (3:25:15 AM) stop reusing titles!!! ur cheap! and u be washed away with brine! Kenny says: (3:25:28 AM) but u have only so much songs wat Heart says: (3:25:52 AM) then the last title wins! just like MERCY STAR2.0 Kenny says: (3:26:21 AM) no leh should be my LAO LE MON mix leh Heart says: (3:26:46 AM) then WHAT IF is a REPRISE? Kenny says: (3:26:55 AM) u HURT me Kenny says: (3:27:05 AM) counted hoh Heart says: (3:27:16 AM) ur too LOUD Kenny says: (3:27:28 AM) but I LOVE YOU Heart says: (3:27:42 AM) even RISA OKAMOTO will hate u Kenny says: (3:27:42 AM) wahahw Kenny says: (3:28:04 AM) yeah so would YAMAMOTO Heart says: (3:28:08 AM) stop f*cking WITH ME Heart says: (3:28:29 AM) or EDMUND WUU Kenny says: (3:28:33 AM) not with me with CHRISTINE Heart says: (3:29:12 AM) ur jerk. even Fritz cant stand u Heart says: (3:29:29 AM) nor LUKE Kenny says: (3:30:02 AM) not even TAN CHAN BOON will forgive you Heart says: (3:30:17 AM) dun fight WITH ME liao la, even acoustically Heart says: (3:30:49 AM) i have a message for u Kenny says: (3:31:02 AM) you speak like a RADIO Heart says: (3:31:09 AM) !?!?!??! Heart says: (3:31:15 AM) RADIO!?!??!?!?! Kenny says: (3:31:19 AM) radio edit leh Heart says: (3:31:24 AM) wahwhahwhawhhawhwahw Heart says: (3:31:30 AM) ur dat desperate eh?! Heart says: (3:31:38 AM) show some GOODNESS Kenny says: (3:31:48 AM) you started the acoustically first Kenny says: (3:32:15 AM) you G bai Kenny says: (3:32:38 AM) ahhaahh beat tath
(at this juncture... i was laughing too hard to keep up with the conversation)
Kenny says: (3:33:13 AM) tok like LADY Kenny says: (3:33:39 AM) i shall say my GOODBYES Kenny says: (3:34:00 AM) whawhhaw Kenny says: (3:35:00 AM) its really kinda funny when u read back Kenny says: (3:35:04 AM) you should save this man Heart says: (3:35:48 AM) foul mouthed a**, ur reusing titles like never before... dun blow ur horns when we're no STRANGERS lor Heart says: (3:36:05 AM) and G bai dun make the cut Kenny says: (3:36:07 AM) wah lao poly also use liao ah Heart says: (3:36:08 AM) lol Kenny says: (3:36:15 AM) y G bai dun make the cut Heart says: (3:36:16 AM) altho i fell off the chair laughin Kenny says: (3:36:24 AM) its original leh Kenny says: (3:36:33 AM) u should be proud Heart says: (3:36:35 AM) nope Heart says: (3:36:37 AM) cannot Kenny says: (3:37:21 AM) hahha Heart says: (3:37:33 AM) for ur benefit, i'll post it up on I Kenny says: (3:37:34 AM) f*ckin funny leh you go read back the conversation Kenny says: (3:37:46 AM) wahaha Heart says: (3:37:54 AM) but some people cheat la Heart says: (3:37:57 AM) reuse titles Kenny says: (3:37:57 AM) cannot lah. tarnish you songs leh Kenny says: (3:38:02 AM) u also wat Heart says: (3:38:13 AM) i never DID hor Heart says: (3:38:20 AM) last one wins Heart says: (3:38:21 AM) =) Kenny says: (3:39:53 AM) you bluff PEOPLE one Heart says: (3:40:31 AM) well, i didn't. so till the next SUMMER CHRISTMAS k? Kenny says: (3:41:20 AM) you make my sores turn DEEP BLUE Heart says: (3:41:44 AM) dun even try la... even if you feat. DAVID TAN also no use la Kenny says: (3:42:04 AM) oh you mean david from ELECTRICO Heart says: (3:42:12 AM) not counted Heart says: (3:42:20 AM) sorry Heart says: (3:42:27 AM) too far out man Kenny says: (3:42:45 AM) nvm I LIVE the lie can laio Heart says: (3:43:40 AM) haiz... stop tryin la... u dun even remember the WILD NIGHTS at any rate... Heart says: (3:43:48 AM) or even NIGHTSOUND IN MOTION... Kenny says: (3:43:52 AM) reuse resuse! Heart says: (3:43:59 AM) where? Kenny says: (3:44:08 AM) i feel like a FOL Kenny says: (3:44:15 AM) wildnights use liao Heart says: (3:44:16 AM) FAIL! Heart says: (3:44:22 AM) FOL use liao Heart says: (3:44:39 AM) so with NIM, tonight... NEIL 1 KEN 0 Heart says: (3:44:46 AM) =) Kenny says: (3:45:04 AM) ok loh. my punishment... go watch FO TIAO CHIANG 20 times Heart says: (3:45:18 AM) eh... nothin to do with nightsound bro Kenny says: (3:45:20 AM) till i cry till 18 gram Heart says: (3:45:34 AM) ok... u've lost it...
And that be the end of a really stupid game... LOL
People don't usually look their age, although a certain benchmark seemed to be in place to dictate that. Either way, I've heard about somebody looking years over while I seemed to have found some sought of youth fountain. Strange, but I think the aging was more apparent on the other side that made me look good somewhat.
My HORRORscope for the day presented something quite unique for a change: I'm getting some necessary attention. Not exactly the right phrase, but at least something which I've been begging for is, in theory, possible, at least for today! YEAY!
Anyway, home's been cleared up a lot more now, thanks to a few minor arguments over where things should be. Let's just hope we are in time for the festivities without much compromise.
I've been picking up after the folks like kids leaving their toys around ever since I moved back here. Even though I must say, the anger subsides really quickly after a while... house chores can be kind of therapeutic some times.
Although I still cannot agree with some of the things they are doing and positioning, which I'm beginning to move into the irate gear quite a bit now.
Can you imagine mom's glasses everywhere? And dad's just neatly placed shoes outside the shoe rack, by the door, on 2 fresh pieces of cardboard, in a newly renovated apartment?!
Well, since I be home to receive more furniture, I guess I'll have to start square one on rearrangement techniques again.
Was on route back to the studio the other night when I decided to pop into McDonalds for a quick bite. In one corner, a big family sat chatting loudly, but one of the boys was crouched in his chair, while a father beat him at the back of the head, again and again, shouting at the boy for a good few minutes.
The boy crouched still, fending off the slaps simply with his hands at the back of the head.
I could see him sobbing beneath.
It felt brutal. I was ready to stop the beating, but the family was business as usual. Must have been a really normal thing, nothing out of the ordinary. A few seats away, another older boy sat staring totally blank into space. Beside the older boy, a girl sat motionless.
All these while the rest of the family sipped, ate, chatted merrily.
The only console was mom asking the young boy something, and the boy, amidst the sobbing, was answering in bits and pieces.
I might have posted this before. But that's how it feels sometimes. Perhaps being the emotional me has a price to pay for the damages and good that I've done.
Even in spirit.
For all that we've done.
But, yet the world revamps in the oldest traditions, where nothing seems valuable until its all done and gone, spent and wasted.
I have been chatting with some friends of late, with the kind of time that I have, I'm all over the place. My conversations moved lateral along those lines. One thing's for sure, everyone's gone a little wiser from the beaten tracks, grown a little sillier from the naivety, sown more troubles and worries on their on affections.
Looking back, it does seem somewhat of a fluke and a joke to be running in and out the door for the sun and from the rain. It isn't making living any easier with all the world's problems. However hard we try, the start point seems uncannily familiar from a few years, to a few months, and now to a matter of days. Perhaps it will wind down further to minutes, but till it comes, the palette of dreams is but a whitewash from its origin.
The days of make-believe glory is over. Realist glorists are round the corner, and days of real basking comes close, or could be completely thrown away.
Juxtapose my thoughts with my handiwork, and it all seem like a bad dream waiting for a hero.
I'm finally home after 9 weeks of struggling with a bed that's not a bed, a room not a room, and a habitat akin to an office... hang on... it is an office~!
Still, old space, new facade. Managed to squeeze more out of the floor area after hacking out the old stuff literally. More importantly, I've rid tons of useless things cos I'm hardly using this space. And to simplify the cleaning process, the easiest way was to minimize... that's what I did...
Nothing much except that this is blogged from home. SO I'm glad I'm back. Welcome home cyberspace =)
We're getting a little bit edgy here and all. Some pictures delayed but now here:
Dedicated to those who are feeling a little under, and truly emo from your own perspectives.
----------+----------
I'm kinda back on Patapon. Heard 2 is out. Can't wait. LOL. That's how sucky it's been for the last 2 months staying at the workplace, and especially when the workplace is downtown... you won't need an alarm clock... the heels against the staircases would be enough, and on time.
Really looking forward to finally move back home for once. Been so tired out just running between furniture malls, the house, the office, the banks and everything else that requires my attention. Or rather, that nobody wants to bother about. It's exciting, but going back to a bare space is another ordeal to begin with... Nonetheless, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for moving back later.
If I could be any dream that you want
Any dream will do, any dream I'll become
If I could be eternity
I'll stop all time, we will be as one
If I could be the light in your shadow
To show you the way, a light I'll be one
If I could be the warmth when you're cold
I'll keep on burning till the morning comes
Like a wheel it keeps turning, it's faith I can't stop
It feels like I'm falling the longer I've been waiting
Will I be forgotten? What will I become?
If I could be a stranger in a bus
Alone in this world, unknown to everyone
It could have been any other way
(But) if I really am, will you walk with me
And talk to me? and laugh with me?
Surely I am someone, don't take it away from me
Give me my time I know I'm awake
Be with me, hold on to my hands
Surely I am someone, don't take it away from me
Be kind, I know I'm awake
Surely I am someone.
Recorded this version earlier on today, couple of takes here there for the guitars, but seemed like we nailed the vocals in a take, or at least K thought we nailed it spot on =)
When the song was written, a lot of people thought the lines were cheesy to the highest degree, amidst all other spontaneously quirky remarks over the album. Still, it had remained one of my most treasured songs even though it was hardly done or had gone anywhere.
K and myself were tired when we did this version, but I think the ideas were straight forward: clean, no frills, personal, and pretty much acoustically in your face. Of course our strongest voter "for the people", Kenny, had his say, but I think we still scored pretty high marks on it.
Okay, this was supposed to be a happy thing despite it being a party for people without one! Anyway, we're missing a lot of people, which should be a good thing considering they would be at some other party. Still, some pictures in our half-sober drunken-stupor!
Ok, the girls were leading for a good half hour at the board game while
the boys could only watch and drool... just look at the boys...
Me + Jon!
Me + Euge!
Me + Ma Baby!
Boonamus Prime + Me!
K + Me!
Ken + Me!
Me + Le Fern Sweetheart!!! MUAHAHA EUGE! EAT YOUR HEART OUT!!! NENENENE
And all of us!!!
And all of us AGAIN!!!
Big head pic! Act cute a bit la I think...
This one confirm act cute 2, 3 bits la...
Self-Pic Lesson 101: Never eat while you take a picture with the mouth opened...
