One of the few enjoyable things that I have is to dream about what is and what could be. And every time I get to the good part, I wake from this incredible break of sweat, telling myself I live a triple trip to the birth and death and back.
And the lights make it seem like the stars came a step closer and I walk the universe on hard ground.
I've asked many questions that were hardly answered, or at least satisfactory, and always end up hunting for more, thinking deeper, going nearer to impossibles.
In response to my last post, after having been heavily bombarded with uncontrollable laughter on my end, Kenny, I will be happy to see you eat the tree bark. Please post the pictures.
Also, in line with the already damaging damage that has been done, I shall remember to bring my camera along for Friday's dinner. Again, Kenny, wish you were here. But you're not.
While the good gets blamed, the bad goes on a rampage. Retribution is always slow and long, while thanks are over in an instant.
Had my first visit up to Helipad. Nice place, cool view, Kenny eat your heart out. No pictures cos seriously, we can't really be bothered these days.
Last week's CQ steamboat dinner was fabulous, Kenny eat your heart out. Angel took a picture of the empty pot, but again, we can't really be bothered to post up anything.
Friday's CQ steamboat dinner seems confirmed with the band. Again, Kenny eat your heart out. We'll try to take some pictures, then again, we can't really be bothered. What we want you to experience is the real thing. The unforgettable scent of spices, the sourish long-lasting taste of the self-concocted sauce, and the steaming hot pot of goodies... of endless supply till you're filled to the brim. Aah... Kenny... you're missing so much. My heart goes out to you k? Wait... OUR hearts go out to you k? Will progressively visit CQ with different people to remind you how awesome it was, is, and will be on our follow up visits.
Next Friday we should be headed for Winebar for some networking. Kenny, Kenny, Kenny... you're missing all the booze here too... gosh... what they have over at your side? Fermented vegetable wine in a waist high pot? I'm... I mean WE, are quite sure we aren't missing much there yeah.
Oh... we might be viewing some new locations soon. Kenny... EAT YOUR HEART OUT. How can our adventure be missed here?! To know that we might be putting down our new bricks of foundation and you're where?! Shooting images of tension between the poles? Risking capture for a lifetime of political propaganda films?! We need you here!!! Alas... you're gonna miss it still.
I'm not evil please. I'm just making you look forward to coming home. Home~ home~ on the range~, where CQ and gang and endless plates~ to fill your appetite~ to drink to your content~ and Winebar beckons thirst like a flame~~~
I did something incredibly insane today - spent one hundred dollars and getting nothing for it, but learnt and incredibly powerful lesson in life. For whatever it was worth, this is one thing that will go down in my own pocket book of history, constantly reminding me how blessed, and truly fortunate I am.
I thought walking the streets had been an incredible experience to graduate from society's university. I was proved wrong. In fact, I've seen nothing yet, accept to the limits of my forward vision. If I have and extended thought, I would rather drown myself in ignorance, and get drunk on stupidity.
Dong, thank you very much for what is something that might change my life today.
My book-keeper, well, pretty much a friend now, was relating a case of a client who simply went out of line in threatening her, and abusing the authority as a client.
In brief, under stress over some court cases, she was taking it out with my friend and making ridiculous demands at mammoth levels. The worse part is, my friend complimented her services as much as she could already, yet, found to be 'unsatisfactory'. I suppose emotional instability and insecurities can evolve into something completely illogical and bull.
But I know I'll be praying and wishing my friend - who is still quite empathic towards this poor soul - all the better things in life.
This would be my first blog off the new computer I got today. Will probably try one tomorrow at the cafe while I map out details for the next 6 months.
I popped the CD in and I went... silent. Haven't been listening to music. Uninspired, unmotivated. Then the cure came along in a jewel case. When the song started my hair totally stood for some reason.
I think the point of solidarity comes when the storm blows over. I don't see no sunshine, nor do I sense no warmth from the sun. Just kind of an aftermath that lingers in the mouth like dried blood.
It has suddenly started to rain totally. And I'm stuck in the studio right now. Promised to leave immediately after the last play, but it's looped more times than that now.
I need a plan. I really need a plan.
Oh, I forgot. Denise M totally forgot who I was. I suppose everyone has a time to remember and to forget at their convenience. I'm quite saddened. Quite beaten. I also discovered some more details about Home I didn't need to know. I'm quite depressed. Quite disbelieved. Perhaps, I should really plan for and exit.
I can't believe the day would come when I run out of songs that I would want to listen to. Turned on the radio and nothing catches my attention. My MP3 library sits stagnant. Streaming services fleeted me by. Nothing. Not a single song comes to mind. I think I've reached the pinnacle of music enjoyment - the sound of silence.
Nice for a change. Take last night, we were chilling out by the bar and an hour into it, I was going deaf with the multitude of passing traffic, chatting patrons, and all other ambient noise. It drove me nuts just sitting still and I found myself squirming in it.
But tonight's the night where anything else is crap except the peace of the night (as far as the room can go though).
The band seems to be taking a backseat for now. Or at least I am. Nobody seems interested to start anything, and I'm already out of steam and dough. My hands are tied in an itchy way. But well. That's that till the moss gathers and stops the rolling stone.
Health status in the extended family is taking a toil. Visits are pointless - it seems to hasten the process of denial that things are not okay, and everyone's meeting for the last time. Regardless, I did my part as requested. Not that I'm against it. It's just a little morbid at the moment.
Seems like most of the projects on hand previously have mostly cleared, and I find myself clearing backlogs that should have been completed eons ago, and mostly not by me supposedly. But then again, stopping my head from thinking stops me indefinitely from the learning process. So yeah, might as well.
Wonder if you guys liked the videos I've done through the years, and the music? Hmm.. I've personally revisited them quite painfully little lately. Perhaps its time to refresh.
No submissions yet for the 10th anniversary book. I wonder why.
Need a haircut soon I think. Nails' long too. Random. Time to sleep then! LOL. Night cyberspacemen.
What should I do for survival? Or should I say, what will I do for survival. I've been struggling with this single tag line for the last couple weeks and the answer has been nothing but a mere blip at the back of my head, fluttering across a million other thoughts.
I've been questioning the successes of many success stories I think I can actually start a thesis on it. Perhaps the downside of reaching further has dawned upon, but the magic, as I've discovered, is to keep finding. Funny part is, I found myself consistently back to square one. Spongebob would be glad we're of the same page now.
So after the after, I'm beginning to feel like I'm living on air, waiting for chances. Not a very bright outlook. I seriously need to improve the hit rate and that thought alone.
That's how long the lead took to recover. And how long I think I've been on this.
Final episode was totally thrown out the door. Guess what, it's a 48 minute music video now. I guess I was right, it doesn't need to be perfect, it needs to be totally stupid.
I promised myself to blog some when I get home, but judging from my current state of blankness, I can only imagine I did do some.
Curtain calls for the perfect clowns after last night's head-on take till 3am this morning. It's 4:42am at the moment, so you can imagine the kind of hours I've been on. I've practically burnt all my weekends since December last year, and had been working till 6am almost everyday for the last month on this project. Now that the work's finally laid out at the finish line, all I need are the clowns in later this afternoon to approve and correct whatever they want. Then, I'm done.
Rejoice not though (for me), a couple other projects pends and I'm already at loggerheads with the incredibly messy state at the studios. Spring cleaning is going to be priority, and administration of long lost papers would follow.
Thinking of a break, yes. But not going to get one anytime soon still. 10 years without one already, what's a couple days or weeks more.
And I gathered from online postings that the series is nosediving. That's perfectly fine with me. When I'm overworked, underpaid, overloaded, under-appreciated, over-criticised and under-mentioned, I don't really give a damn anymore.
Okay, this post is taking a toll with numerous typos. I'm heading to bed. I'm back cyberspace, and take care you all.
Ok. Leaving me 100+ "I love this article" is a sheer effort on your part. It wasted my time deleting them, and certainly wasted your life spamming me.
Anyway, the first episode came off pretty okay I suppose, at least in terms of my work. I didn't spot major flaws, but of course, anything can be better.
Made myself a lowly cup of hot Milo just now, and kinda brought me around thinking why I like it thin. Perhaps we were poor back then, and a little of the powder a cup could last longer in the tin. Being poor thought me to be elegantly sarcastic with my own achievements and milestones.
I just wonder how long would the self-reproach last.
I'm really looking forward to the final stretch to a week off.
Is not a question anymore. It has become an exclamation.