MUD

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MUD
01.07.06 (3:59 am)   [edit]
After writing an immensely weird and unstructured set of words for a tune, it's beginning to seem as if a turn-around is imminent.

I have this sudden urge to destroy something. It's that surge of intense emotional uprising that causes a certain brainwave activity which makes a person insane in a split second moment. And till the damage is done, that insanity follows through after that point of destruction, and then dissipates into nothingness, instantly replaced by a sense of awe, fear, and blindness.

Guilt then sets in.

Now isn't that therapuetic? To know a line of action succeeded by a chain of consequences somehow pulls you back from any consideration of commiting that act or actions. Yet, falling back, you think what comes next, and ask that all-crazy question, "So what do I do now?"

So what do you do when you cannot remain calm?
[LINE]
I saw a timeline recently, and this timeline was supposed to bring a time of reign and respect. This vision, if I may call it as it felt more like a feeling, came not because of make-believe, but came about through the pure lust of getting some peace. It's gradually getting difficult to focus on anything when very simple things get pulpped and torn into bits that should have just remained, normal.

It is an estranged situation.

For the last couple of more dark-myriad posts, I've noticed they were incomplete, or were largely half-done. Would like to stress what I have failed to mention in those posts:

- go ahead and tell them the truth, I'm not doing well at all since. If they have any more sensibilities and conscience, stop asking.
- in all honesty, am extremely beaten and thrashed. Imagine building a giant sandcastle complete with moat-dragons and king figurines, and someone steps all over it - you try pick yourself up and teach me how to do that.
- every pillar of strength has cracks, don't remind me.
- if there ain't help, dispense the formalities. Really.

That should complete most of the previous incomplete posts.
:?
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