Get some dumb emails that described a certain group from time to time, and I usually end up thrashing them based on their Subjects. But here's one (truncated) which I thought so amazingly hilarious on repeated reads even. By some wise-crack I don't know, but good job.

Funny Things About Singaporeans:

- Tks 2 SMS, u oso dun no how 2 spel anymor.

- You pat bus seats and even MRT seats to cool them before you sit down.

- At lunch, you start discussing what to eat for dinner.

- When speaking to foreigners, you somehow feel a need to adopt an accent.

- You won't raise your voice to protest policies, but you'll raise your fists to whack someone over Hello Kitty.

- You're forever talking about businesses you want to set up but will probably never get around to starting.

- You don't know 3/4 of the people attending your wedding.

- You separate food into 2 basic groups: 'heaty' and 'cooling'.

- You think that what makes you 'married' is not the legal registration but whether you've thrown a 12 course dinner.

- You have kids for the tax advantages.

- You move to where you want your child to go to school.

- You force your children to take Speech & Drama classes, but pray they won't wind up in Arts later on.

- You suddenly realize you're very interested in biotech - just like you suddenly realized three years ago that you were very interested in e-commerce, and before that, engineering, and before that, medicine and law.

- You think people are inconsiderate when they don't leave their table immediately after eating at the food court but think you have every right to take 25 bites to finish the last red bean in your ice kachang.

- You find it impossible to make suggestions without drawing a fishbone chart first.

- If you're a guy, whenever you get together with your guy friends, you invariably trade army stories.

- You've eaten more times at the Esplanade than you've actually seen shows there.

- You need campaigns to tell you how to be courteous, to flush toilets, have sex, etc. (not forgetting TV commercials & billboards reminding you to SMILE when important people come to town).

- You always feel oddly hungry at 11 pm, and are willing to drive to far away places for supper.

- You work at McDonald's when you're old rather than young.

- You'll gladly spend $50,000 on a car, but will go to great lengths to save a few bucks on ERP charges or even a few cents on a parking coupon.

- If you're pregnant, you have the strange ability to make people on the MRT fall asleep instantly.

- At the dinner table, you're always discussing which other food places serve better versions of what you're eating.

- You copy down licence plate numbers of cars involved in accidents.

- You think your boyfriend doesn't really love you unless he gives you part of his liver.

- You pronounce the letter 'R' as 'ah-rer' and the letter 'H' as 'haytch'.

- No matter how old you are, you keep associating people with their secondary schools. (alternative: No matter how old you are, you secretly need to know what other people got for their PSLE, O levels and A levels.)

- You believe that you can generate 'creativity' through rules and committees.

- You 'chope' a seat by placing a packet of tissues on the chair.

- You diligently track the whereabouts of your favourite hawkers, i.e. you know that the famous Tiong Bahru Bao is now in Jurong, the famous Outram Char Kuay Teow is now in Hong Lim Centre and the famous Lau Hock Kien Hokkien mee from the old Lau Pa Sat is now at Beach Road.

- You think we're living in a modern, sophisticated country even whenour leaders still insist on wearing their white school uniforms.

My favorite is the one in bold. How true! Hope you guys enjoyed this invariably.