PiCKiNG THE GARDEN

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PiCKiNG THE GARDEN
03.14.08 (2:35 am)   [edit]
I'm seriously vexed out. Maxed with work, and overtly restless with the latest developments. Trying my ass best to put things in perspective yet nothing comes to mind as eligible for a clearer picture, like goldfishes in a fish bowl filled with distilled water. Plus, I think there are way too many unpredictable variables to consider, to the point, simplicity flies like a kite way up there on a thin flimsy string.

The last I remembered being so uptight, was when I stood point blank staring at school admission forms. With grades lower than the deepest sea levels, hope ultimately hangs like a tree trunk snapped hanging by chipped bark. The best possible description to put things in perspective then, was one single question: "What is my motivation?"

Honestly, I don't know. I've scrimped, saved, worked hard, yet, life's impertinence ruled the day like a anvil quickly crushing the paths that is an ant. What's more ridiculous is the cruel fact that, there is nothing that can be done.

With bare hands and greasy feet, I've moved the pyramids of ancient habits and rotten cores over the cliff edge right into the sea of hope. But rise the titans of regret and shame that still killed whatever lingered in the way of cheer. Confetti, applause, and holler did nothing to life the spirits, but the redundant and stubborn political diplomacies always win the day - like a street cobbler mending so many shoes till he can't keep count, but still ends up a street cobbler. Then, might as well quit? No?

Had a good chat with sis earlier on about the family too. Aah, been missing too many things at home. Note though, I don't mind James, I like him in fact, bright kid all, but waking up to open the door in the morning and having to work the night shift is really wearing me thin. Not as if I'm already not 2D enough. Pun intended.

But well, he's teaching me the virtues of perseverance all over again, and I've been ashamed that I almost forgot my first days: that baby step into everything that I am today. It's nice to see a living, breathing reminder of what I used to be, and surely, it brings along a nostalgic sense of well-being, and you've-done-good.

I'm sorry if I've been neglecting all my other blogs, but as much as I've been eager to make entries, the exits show up way before I got that. Plus, plume eyes and a slowing heartbeat ain't no help in garnering that extra big strength to keep the fingers on the keyboard. How I wish I have a day to just sit and fire away. Oh mighty pen that wields the magic of emotions, the messenger of truth, and the fun of rubbish lies: be back to visit not just for Thanksgiving please.

At the very least, in some corner of that priority list that I've tucked neatly in the recesses of my memory lapses, I think of not thinking one day. Have a good one cyberspace.
 

posted by: skyfalling (reply)
post date: 03.15.08 (1:06 pm)

I hope you don't tired yourself out. Take care leh! ;O

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