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PHOTO ALBUMS (Like it or not)

NIM BBQ 07
The Cure 'Live' 07
HK+Clair's Wedding
Girl's Night Out 06
Sentosa Chronicles VII
Sentosa Chronicles VI
Sentosa Chronicles IV
Sentosa Chronicles III

Sometimes
07.08.04 (12:54 am)   [edit]
It's 12:01AM, but it feels like 5:01AM.

I don't really know where to begin, neither do I know how it's gonna end. But living it isn't exactly very pleasant right now.

:cry:

I feel so spent. I wonder how this computer feels when I consistently pound on it to chew on my typing. So very taken for granted.

Saw Solitude today, a constant convection current of misses.

Wanted to pour out many things on the way home, then I realise there's no one to pour to. The nosebleed this morning didn't help, and struggling through the day only made me even more frustrated about my current predicament of having a family I don't see as often as I would love to, a girlfriend who bitters the moment when its supposed to be sweet, a partner who hogs on his thoughts and can't seem to say it out, peers I can't relate to the way I want to, friends I'm losing touch with because of so many situational reasons, learners who don't take my words seriously but choos to learn the hard way, and a health I can't seem to strike an equilibrium.

I know what's been happening. I'm getting a mild infection, again. The nosebleed this morning was definitely not from the head. God, if I must die, make me happy before I do. What can anyone get out of me by dragging it?

I saw AL last Wednesday, recognised her pretty far off. I didn't really need to stare, I could just feel it. Being sensitive have its plus and minus, but the thoughts after that moment was exponential. For once, I felt comforted that we weren't together - she's definitely not turned out the way I imagined. Then, there are so many what ifs. It just threw me off my regular sane thinking into a frenzy of possibilities and co-relations. Strangely, it all adds up to one huge passage, Bleed. "Was only you I could not call to say these words I've never said before, You give too many time this time, What if there's another, what if lives can change, You're hoping from within, you're running from without, I feel so cold cos it's you I can't be with till the end of time, And it was nobody's fault, These are the days, trying to remember what we've tried to forget, Surely I am someone don't take it away from me, give me my time, I know I'm awake, And the night it has no end, So when we were together, we never need to cry."

That felt better, about everything. To know that at least a couple dozen of people have heard what I've always wanted to say, I think it feels better. It's just me, I squeeze everything into a focal point, not one thing bothers me at seperate times, everything bothers me at the same time. Only sometimes, it makes a detour, and I swap a smiley to a whiny.

I kinda remembered the last time I had a nosebleed, something bad happened. Now, I'm just waiting for the next worst to come. I'm prepared, cos, there's never another thing to worry about no more.

The Color Purple was a great movie. I loved it, got the DVD, watched it with deep breadths beyond what I could do long before. It touched me, it was real. To walk beyond my field of marigold would be sweet. Would love to do it with those I adore, but then again, nobody's really ever interested. I think it's becoming passe. I don't need to say no more to anyone. Sometimes, silence is golden.

I'm still dying to leave this place I'm in. It sucks.

:arrow: Cigarettes were never meant to harm your health. You did.
:arrow: Murder never ever meant to get rid of those murdered. Murder is part of nature's recycling of humans.
:arrow: Politics is good, it makes you wanted.
:arrow: Getting drunk is experimenting with fermentation and yourself, just so that you know what its like when you decompose.
:arrow: 9/11? It's just a bigger televised version of every other day in the world.

Cut to, fade out, then super this:
317 tbucks can't save me. :wink:
 

posted by: reqx (reply)
post date: 07.07.04 (8:59 am)

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